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To me, the idea of not hitting women isn't "no matter what" it's basically a truce. And it goes out to everyone. If you are not an immediate danger to me, and as long as hurting you isn't the only way to make you stop hurting me, then I'm not going to hurt you. Cause that's just not what I do. I don't initiate violence against anyone. Gender is not a factor. But if they initiate it, they cross that line, all bets are off.
Now, obviously I'm not going to beat a 90 lb woman to death cause she stepped on my toe, but if some crazy lady is coming at me with a bottle or a knife of a baseball bat or whatever I am gonna do what I can to make sure it comes out a lot worse for her than it does for me, and I might put a lot of effort into it since I'm not really a fighter and I'm not actually sure I can handle myself all that well. I am pretty unathletic, so there's likely a good amount of women who would have no trouble hurting me physically if they set their minds to it. But that's just me, and it's a pretty unlikely scenario. But, I have been attacked by insane jealous latinas with kitchen knives and other household items on various occasions and well, shit got real. Nobody died, nobody went to the hospital, but I might have if I hadn't used physical force to neutralize the situation.
Edit: um, obviously none of this has anything to do with the situation being discussed, which I am not familiar with at all.
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