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I have to give you props for maintaining this charade for so long without breaking character. I'll add one:
When standing at the urinal, don't try to almost crawl inside so no one will look at your tiny dick. Stand at least one foot away from the urinal and be proud of what you've got. The extra benefit is you don't have to put your shoes in the puddle of piss that's always directly beneath the urinal.
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