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If you're in the US, federal government. Buy a native american tribe citizenship, get a job in DOD, work 20 years, get full retirement in a "buyout", then go to a defense contractor at 20 times the pay while you have lunch with your buddies at various steakhouses and laugh about spending 50 billion on missiles that never got fired.
Being slow and lazy will make sure you shoot up the ranks, as you'll be a threat to no-one.
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