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dude this happens to everyone. you need to experience a number of girls before you know what you really want and don't ever let a girl own you. find a girl who wants you. lots of different women out there to try out and see what you like. have fun!!! its all just life.
as for money, find some guy roomates or rent out a room from someone until you get on your feet. never give up, never stop trying to achieve more. sometimes it takes a long time and many missteps but persistence pays off.
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you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..
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