Originally Posted by BIGTYMER

Well you have now.

When I was like 13 I had court ordered community service. The maintenance man was sick as fuck and just let me do my own thing. It was during the week so the church was empty. I took a break to go smoke some weed in the church parking lot.. I was sitting up against one of those storage units/shipping containers. I had hours left in my day there. Don't ask me why but I decided to beat it. Raging hormones? Drugs? I'm the son of satan? Karellen is my hero? No clue. Mother of bad ideas. A youth pastor must've seen me jerking it because next thing I know he's screaming and running towards me. I booked it. Pants unzipped and falling to the ground. Trying to hold them up the entire time.. Heart racing. Dude chased me for a few minutes but I got away. Just barely. He was within reach several times.

I waited and hour before I snuck back into the maintenance man's office. I stayed in there until my mom got me later that day. Leaving the church I saw the guy and he saw me but couldn't do shit.

So I wasn't actually in church but I was on church property. And that is the one and only time I beat it in public. That was the fucking worst..