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Most of my dates come as a result of performing. Mainstream people I've met follow the same pattern as your ex: fascinated or ambivalent at first, but slowly jealous. I've made several friends/fuckbuddies and a long term relationship (now over, but still the very best of friends) with guys whom I met for the sole purpose of shooting a scene with me.
It is a little different in gay culture though; so many guys are still DL because of fear for their jobs or families, the idea of dating a porn performer is more than they can handle. I fuck them once and send them home. Of course, I wouldn't date a closeted guy anyway (if I wanted a pussy, that's what I'd ask for), so disclosing that I make my living by letting people watch me have sex speeds the process.
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