So what is the story on who double crossed Jay? What happened?
I don't like when people use suicide talk all of the time but I think with someone like Jay once you live so hard and live so fast for so long, what happens is, the lack of stimulation and all of that in any semblance of a normal existence truly does make someone want to just pull it out .. like that one old song
See
I don't know much about Jay but it definitely looks like his cat reference applies . . Sometimes when you've been living fast or whatever else you end up with more of an impulse right now brain than a peaceful thinking one
One thing I can assure you of, Jay, whether or not there was betrayal - if there was, you still have to face yourself and take responsibility for allowing it to happen, in most instances. I've been dealing with that, myself, in a BIG way . . .
The only thing that saved my ass was realizing I have to take responsibility
Yes, they were wrong and did inconscionable despicable acts, un provoked - but I was wrong for allowing it all to happen
If you don't realize THAT, how can you EVER come back up?
If you allow yourself to wallow in how unfair and fucked up shit is you'll keep sinking - guaranteed.
My own grandmother tried to get me locked up for a long time
My closest friend turned around and did that same thing
I have not done the time you have but I was sweating a 1-5 for several months
Meanwhile I fought my way through SEVEN cases since 2011
At the end of the day it's LIKE doing time sometimes - never knowing when which PO will decide to cage you for any little reason. It was all a long story but in the middle of everything my woman got badly sick and I took care of her bitch azz for two + years ... also ended in betrayal, of course . .
I don't know I've never done hard drugs or partied like that - I have no idea of what all you're dealing with. I do understand what it is to be betrayed and fucked with and fucked over . By the few few people I was ever close with . I do know what it is to sweat .
Speaking of sweat I even spent a couple of summers outside when it was well over 100F outside and I hustled everything from tires to lumber to computers YOU NAME IT and I think NOT GIVING UP and WORKING SO HARD saved my life if anything did
The harder these turncoat no account bastads push you the HARDER YOU KEEP PUSHING TO MOVE FORWARD
Face yourself
Face the truth about bad people
Break yourself to make yourself
Frankly, I think your music is terrible and I doubt I'd get along with you AT ALL, but I see a lot of myself when I see you saying things .. I actually like you, as far as I can tell, and that means a LOT coming from me since I like you even though you're male.
My favorite saying which helped me survive the past several years
I live by these:
1. I'ma make it, because fuck you
2. Fuck everything
3. Nothing matters to anyone
4. Find a way make a way
PS: After dealing with so many chemicals and so much stimulation for so long, your brain must need some rest. I would imagine that your thoughts are scattered, a little scary and maybe even a bit confusing, for now.
Give yourself a break and don't kick yourself to hard - you ain't going to be at 100% tomorrow overnight
Who would be?
But don't let that be a crutch that buries you, neither, feel me?
I hope any of this made sense at all. I am VERY tired.