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The Ten Commandments--Republican-Style
I. Thou shalt talk about Christian principles, but not live by them
II. Thou shalt attack opponents personally when you can't win on policies
III. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, but be in favor of the death penalty
IV. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, and put guns in the hands of school children
V. Thou shalt give lip service to democracy while taking away civil liberties
VI. Profit is the Lord Thy God, thou shalt not put the people's interest above those of your corporate contributors
VII. Thou shalt make sure fetuses have health coverage, but leave children and babies behind
VIII Thou shalt bear false witness against your opponents and liberals, and demonize them
IX. Thou shalt run on a moderate platform, then enact right-wing policies as soon as possible
X. Thou shalt call the media liberal, so that people forget that the media is owned by corporations with a conservative fiscal agenda
Another Ten Commandments--Republican Style
Thou shalt worship no other Americans but Ronald Reagan.
Thou shalt pay no attention to the fact that tax rates have nothing to do with capitalism. Remember, we were in fact a nation based on socialism before 1980 when our savior was elected.
To speak ill of Ronald Reagan means you are not a real conservative.
Thou shalt honor Ayn Rand’s economic ideologies, but ignore the fact that she was an atheist who thought religious people were fools.
Thou shalt respect your mother and father by ensuring that we privatize Social Security and Medicare so that private corporations can profit from these programs.
Guns are the only means of salvation. Thou shalt live in fear every moment that someone is out to get you.
Though adultery and divorce are acceptable and frequent occurrences (especially in “strongly conservative” states), it is same-sex marriage that will ultimately destroy the traditional family and ruin the sanctity of marriage.
Women are to be treated as subservient to men. Their rights will be determined by panels consisting entirely of males as it is clear men know more, and are better suited to determine female equality and how to handle women’s health.
The poor are but leeches on society seeking a handout from everybody else. The rich suffer the greatest burden of all and it is your responsibility to ensure that the rich are properly taken care of, for they are the job creators.
Thou shalt remember that greed is good, the poor are lazy, gays are bad, women are wicked,
Rush Limbaugh is a respectable citizen, Sarah Palin is intelligent and George W. Bush was a great president.
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“If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.”
-- Ulysses S. Grant
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