I'm sorry you're going through this process man it can be a tough long road full of possitive suprises and upticks. Just ignore the crap below just random thoughts with good intentions.
No father wants his golden years to be a drunk that can't take care of his wife, and no Mom wants to be a burden on anyone.
At least you have family that you can bring together and pool resources for this emergency. This kind of scenario with elderly couples can be a powder keg leading to abuse, murder suicide, etc.
Your Dad needs to get away and decompress, he's sending you all the signals and someone needs to act before it's too late.
Imagine being your Dad watching your life/wife whither away before you every single day feeling helpless, every day, and sleeping with someone who's fading away, and drinking to escape without escaping.
The Toll of Caring for a Spouse with Dementia