I've never encountered guys that are obsessively afraid they are Gay. I couldn't imagine constantly testing my sexuality to make sure I was not something I feared becoming, seems odd to me. This is a long article so I only posted part of it below
Can you relate? Does it seem legit to name a disorder based on obsessive sexual thoughts?
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Meet The Straight Men Who Are Terrified They Are Gay
Hunched nude in the glow of his iMac, 17-year-old Darren* typed the words 'gay porn' into Google for the first time.
"I didn't fancy men," he tells me. "I had a girlfriend, and only ever had sexual feelings for women, but I just couldn't shake the idea that I was somehow lying to myself."
He plugged in his headphones, clicked on an X-rated video and took a deep breath. It was around 3am, in the summer of 2007, and relentless fears of homosexuality had tormented him since the start of the year. "I just woke up one day and I was suddenly obsessed with it. It felt like everything I thought I knew about myself was falling apart. It didn't make any sense."
He watched, expecting something significant to stir upstairs or down. But there was nothing. Feeling equal measure victory and defeat, Darren switched off the monitor, laid flat on his bed and wrestled with his doubts for a few more hours before finally surrendering to sleep. He carried out the same test almost every night for the next three weeks, always with the same result.
After searching Internet mental health forums for answers to his private impasse, Darren became convinced that he was suffering from 'HOCD': a not officially recognised form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder defined by the fear of being or becoming homosexual.
A decade has passed since Darren's self-diagnosis and subsequent therapy, but 'HOCD' still remains a divisive subject within some sections of the psychological healthcare community. Now 26, he is keen to raise awareness for what he believes to be a misunderstood and potentially life-ruining anxiety disorder.
"I was fobbed off by therapists who just thought that I must be gay. I don't want that happening to anybody else."
Avy Joseph is an accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and lecturer with 25 years experience treating anxiety disorders. While he asserts that 'HOCD', an acronym coined by sufferers sharing their stories online, isn't officially classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), he says that the irrational fear of being or becoming gay falls firmly within the umbrella of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
"Someone will tell me that they were walking down the street and saw a guy, and thought: 'Oh, he's really good looking.' But then they think: 'oh my God, I've just noticed a guy and thought he was good looking. Does that mean?'"
According to Joseph, it's at such innocuous beginnings that a self-perpetuating and all-consuming obsession with sexual identity can begin. "The more you insist that you mustn't have a particular thought, guess what happens? You're going to have hundreds of them," he tells me. "That causes anxiety, and then you start to think more unrealistically. The ability to think in a probabilistic way goes out the window. Then you ask yourself: 'How can I be absolutely sure that these thoughts won't come back?' And then of course you start demanding certainty?"
A commonly held misconception about OCD is that sufferers are all fixated with decontamination and uniformity. The truth is, for many, OCD has nothing to do with overworked light switches or compulsive hand scrubbing, and all to do with intrusive, relentless, and often distressing thoughts that swarm around their heads on a daily basis.
Little research has been published on the rates of sexual obsession in OCD sufferers, but a recent study using a sample of 293 subjects found that 25% experienced intrusive sexual thoughts. And while analysis is scarce, a Google search reveals a seemingly endless scroll of people sharing their 'HOCD' experiences on forums, and YouTube videos on the topic often wrack up tens of thousands of views.
FULL STORY HERE