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Earlier this year i visited the doctor because i needed some sort of medication because i had so much shit (and still have) going on at once.
He asked if i ever had suicidle thoughts. And i said yes.
He put me on to a councillor and i still go once per week. It's an hour to just tell someone who won't judge me all my problems and listen to whatever advice they can give.
Does it work ? Maybe. But at least it is seeking some sort of help before making any life threatening decisions.
As it is just now, i know my purpose for being here is to care for my sick mum. If i wasn't here, i doubt she would be either.
Once she goes, i will find it tough beyond anything i could imagine but i will need to find the strength.
I have other shit going on just now which has been put to the side for now, but it hasn't gone anyway by any matter of means. It's been on going for 3 years now.
This with everything else is what led to that doc appointment. But some people don't get that far or look for that help and this can sometimes be the end result.
I don't have kids and have no intention of ever having kids, so i guess that is the only good thing i won't ever have to worry about, whatever the future holds...
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