Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

I'll try to answer your points as best I can, but please allow me to give you a little history lesson to explain the British's 'Strange' relationship with their teeth...

Traditionally, Teeth in England, have a very different perceived value to the rest of the world. Why? Not sure - Its just one of our quirky British traditions. In essence, no one wants a perfect set of teeth, and you are not considered a 'Real Man' until you have at least 2 or 3 visible gaps on oth the upper and lower sets at the front.

It all starts off in school when you are very young. There are competitions amongst the kids to see who can lose their baby teeth first. Your first set of teeth are classed as an inconvenience from day 1, as they cause teething issues and pain as they come thru. Knowing that by the age of about 8 or 9, you should lose these teeth acts as an incentive to try and get rid of them at as early an age as is possible. Even if this involves getting into fights or just pulling them out yourself with dads pliers...

When a child has lost all his first set of teeth, their is usually a family celebration or party (akin to a quinceanera) where the child gets gifts etc and is considered to be becoming an adult... The flipside however, is that as the adult teeth start to grow in, great shame is brought down upon the child from both his peers and his parents. Even in school, you will often find the harsher punishments for misbehaving are reserved for those with the most teeth. There is a direct correlation.

From Secondary school onwards, all a child wants is to lose as many teeth, as quickly as possible. Even brushing teeth and oral hygiene are seen as huge 'No-Nos' for any self respecting child. On housing estates, gangs of bullies roam around, looking to harrass children with to many teeth, and a missing front tooth is seen as a badge of honour. The guy with all his front teeth missing is almost guaranteed to get any girl he wants. The fully toothed guy could even remain a virgin into his 30s...

As For the NHS and Dentist, yes, they are indeed free, however Dentists have an Evil and unpleasant air about them... Similar to the 'Child Catcher' in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang... Often, is a child is misbehaving, tradition dictates that the parents scare them into better behaviour with threats of 'Taking Them To See The Dentist' and 'forcing Them To Brush Their Teeth'... Infact, upon reaching drinking age, when you can go to pubs and roam the streets late at night, a very british tradition is to find a dentist and do your best to kick his fucking teeth down his throat. It's a great game, fun for all the family and free to take part in ! No wonder it's such a popular pastime..

So in essence, having bad breath, hardly any teeth and a furry tongue are seen as extremely attractive qualities for the British... As such I wouldn't have it any other way...