I know this won't really be of any real interest to anyone on GFY, but it WAS a personal achievement for me. As such, Im feeling pretty proud of myself, so I thought I share the latest news from CS Land...
Quick bit of background first - Some of you will have seen the fact that they were fitting a stairlift for me a few weeks ago. I poosted about it at the time, and I took some pics etc... I wasn't happy about it at all... You see, up until now, the carers that come in to look after me, have had to give me bedbaths, because the actual washroom of the house is on the floor above me. I personally said that they should save their money, and just move me to a bigger 2 bedroom place (Like I've asked them to do before) because the bigger 2 bedroom units have the bathroom on the same floor. But no. They insisted on fitting an industrial strength, reinforced stairlift instead, so they could cart me upstairs and hose me down in the wetroom like a piece of meat... I much prefer the human contact of an intimate sensual bedbath from nurses in uniform, over someone spraying water from a hose at me from the doorway...
They were so pleased and smug when it was installed. They even stated that I wouldn't be able to break it, as it was a 'fully sealed unit' - Meaning that no matter how much poo, piss or puke I produce while travveling up or down the stairs on it, it's not gonna be able to get inside the mechanism, and screw it up... They looked so pleased, so I took that as a challenge, but despite my attempts to sabotage it, in exactly the manner they described, and on multiple occasions... I had to admit defeat. As enjoyable as it was for me to try, it didn't affect the stairlifts operation in any way, and so the nurses must have thought that they had won...
They certainly became a lot more cocky with me since being relieved of their bedbath duties... They even started doing things that they had not done before. Like rolling me over onto my side in the bed and just leaving me there, uncomfortable, for up to 15 mins at a time ! Apparently, its to reduce bedsores, but I think that they just enjoyed making me unhappy... But more fool them ! Because it was well I was in this uncomfortable position, I formulated my cunning plan...
You see, what I could see from this unusual position was a small white box, screwed to the bottom of the wall, with a little red light on it. One wire went through the wall to the stairlift, and the other end had one that wired into a fixed point on the wall... It was obviously the power converter unit for the stairlift, located on the other side of the wall. So... I pissed on it ! From the bed - A nice, strong, yellow stream of piss covered that box and its stupid red light, and I hoped upon hope, that it would result in a flash of electrical explosion, or a shower of sparks, or even, if I was really lucky, a fire etc... If I had a fire, I would be moved to a bigger 2 bedroom place for sure... But... Nothing
The little red light stayed on, nothing happened, and the next day I was forced to get up, get on the lift and be hosed off in the wetroom. Undignified or what? But that afternoon, during my 'turning exercises' (For which they both fuck off for a cup of tea) I had another piss. Then the next day, another, and the day after that, again and again... Until 2 days ago... There was No bang, No flash, No climatic conclusion. But the red light... Went out !
They forced me onto the lift again this morning, and wonder of wonders ! IT DIDN'T WORK!!! So, back to bed for me, and Ive just enjoyed a lovely wet sensual sexy bedbath again ! Nurses have just left for the day, so I thought Id share my good news with GFY... Moral of the story? If at first you don't succeed, pee, pee, pee again..
They cant come to fix it over the weekend and this Monday is a special day, a 'Bank Holiday' in the UK, meaning they won't come Monday either - So I've got a good few days more of bed baths to look forward too
Have a good weekend all of yah
