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I think excellent writers should be capable of writing characters who do not map precisely to the author's lived experience. Obviously that goes double for science fiction and fantasy. But there is nothing odd about having female characters or even having women create female characters more often. Statistically, one might expect 10% of characters to be gay.
Have you read John Varley, Cory Doctorow, Richard Kadrey, later Heinlein like Friday?
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