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It can be done, but you need to be much more stealthy about it.. Facebook will follow redirects and things of that nature so simply shortening with a bitly link or something isn't going to work. You need a very basic pre-lander that isn't going to have naked chicks on it or links to something like sex.com...I would go with something quick/simple like an "are you 18+?" with yes/no buttons. They click Yes and maybe it takes them to your Twitter profile with a link to your dating site. Otherwise, if it's a more mainstream-type dating site (or even a dating sites simple landing page) you could probably link directly to it from the pre-lander.
As for growing, probably best to use other groups and maybe even do a bit of e-whoring (create a fake account of a hot chick, join "add me" groups and post some) which will get you a bunch of friend requests, then invite those friends to the group.
This could certainly be done, but the less x-rated the page is you're sending people too after the pre-lander, the better. Building groups isn't that hard either, just once again keep the content as softcore as possible. You should also plan on having multiple FB accounts and don't just go joining dozens of groups and posting tons right away - you'll loose your account. Start an account and wear it in for a few weeks.. do what a normal person would.. Then, once it's broken in you can gradually start to join groups and post. I have some accounts by now I can go through and post in 50-100 of them each day if I want.
Hope this helps!
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