GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post

smack · 09-06-2003, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
It's true that friends/girlfriends/boyfriends can hurt you just as bad or even worse than a spouse.

Seems to me, it's harder to maintain a "friendship with benefits" than it would be to have a relationship with someone you are compatible with. If you just stay "friends" or unmarried with someone, then you always have a limitation on your feelings. "I can love you THIS much, but not THAT much".

Clearly marriage or even a verbal monogamous relationship isn't for anybody that's selfish or immature. Because either or take sacrifices. If you are primarily worried that marriage could end in divorce and hurt your finances, then you obviously value material things more than love. If you are worried a marriage could end in divorce and hurt you emotionally, the same could happen in an unmarried relationship.

When you want to be with someone, but never want to marry them... you are telling them "I don't love you, need you, want you and TRUST you QUITE enough, to go to that level. So we'll stay at this level." And why would anyone want to settle for that, unless that's what they feel towards their mate as well.

I don't think a lot of people should get married. I don't think a lot of people should even be in a monogamous relationship, because promises on paper or not, still hurt the same when they are broken.

But if you find someone you are 100% compatible with, why hold back? If you have any doubts, you need to talk about them before you even plan the wedding. If you can't communicate before you get married, you won't do it afterwards. If a dream wedding is all you desire, then ask yourself if you would love this person and love being married to them, just as much if you got married at a chapel in Vegas with no gifts or fancy reception to follow.

And people that actually plan having kids with people they aren't married to, really annoy me, because for some reason they think having a child with someone is less of a risk than marrying them. And who says you have to have kids even after you are married? Children should enhance an already strong level of commitment, not just be a token of steps to follow after the ceremony.

There's nothing wrong with marriage, there's only things wrong with people and the people they choose to settle for.

I know that was way more than anyone wanted to read!

i agree. some people aren't made to be in relationships.