you are overthinking it. we have 3rd party billers in this industry exactly for the reasons you mentioned. if you are starting out, use a 3rd party biller.
i have a few listed on my billing info page that have been around long enough to trust.
https://www.porncms.com/billing.php
for your site, start at the bottom - Verotel and Epoch. you need to use a 3rd party biller for a year and then you can get a merchant account with better rates.
follow the path thousands have walked
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