Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

No, Im banned from church. First time I went, the vicar was really pleased to see a new face, so he came over and greeted me personally.

He asked if it was my first time at his church, and I said yes - He told me not to worry, that he was sure I'd enjoy myself, and that I should go down near the front and take a pew...

Needless to say, I followed his request to the letter, but the police didn't find my confusion particularly funny, as I was escorted off the premises, with the vicar telling me I wasn't welcome back...