Quote:
Originally Posted by Tube Ace
I wouldn't know. My dick size is top 2% and body count is top 1% according to some stats I recently read.
In fact, my last flight from Fort Lauderdale required a manual pat down due to a "a large object in my groin area" after going through the x-ray machine. The TSA agent asked if I wanted the pat down performed as I stood there or in a private room. I had nothing to hide so I shrugged and said, "here is fine". I should have asked him to repeat himself louder so everyone on my flight could hear.  #bigdickproblems
I'm starting to suspect you say this dumb shit and get off on my stories to see what it's like to have such a blessed life.
Oh, then the flight attendants thought I was Jake Gyllenhaal for some reason. Never heard that one before. She asked me to remove my sunglasses. When I did, she saw my baby blues and said "Nah, you're not him. You look better."
Trill shit. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by O MARINA
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The night before, I met an Asian and Black girl (both 21 y.o. college students) at a Mexican restaurant's bar on Olas Blvd in Ft Lauderdale while watching the WCF Game 6 of the Lakers vs Warriors (May 12, Lakers won the series that night).
Long story short, after shot-gunning Redbull and Vodkas (per the Asian girl's idea), the Black girl invites me to go with them to The Wharf bar/club where we have more drinks.
As we were exiting the club, some dude told her she looked like Grace Jones, which she had no idea who she was (remember she was only 21). So she Googled Grace Jones on her phone and sounded upset showing me her phone like "do I look like her?!?". I had to explain it was probably because we look like an odd couple and I sort of resemble Dolph Lundgren, apparently, as I've heard it multiple times.
The Asian chick disappeared as she wandered off to get some blow with some guys while Grace and I hung out.
Once her friend re-appears, I call an uber to get back to my airbnb, as I have a flight within a few hours back to Mexico.
On my way home in the uber, she tells me she wanted to "slide", as the kids call it these days, but my beauty sleep is more important than a rando woman who looks like a supermodel. She's was really beautiful though, a sweetheart, and very physically fit.
"♬ it ain't safe, it ain't safe, it ain't safe ♬" was a reference to this G-Eazy song they played at the club.
Then, after getting felt up by the TSA agent, I boarded my flight and was asked if I was Jake Gyllenhaal as mentioned in previous post.
No big deal.