Victim – “Poor me.”
Victims often feel victimised, trapped, helpless and hopeless. They think they are at the mercy of life. They are unwilling to take responsibility for their undesirable circumstances and don’t think they have the power to change their lives.
Victims assume themselves as powerless or incompetent and blame on Persecutors (can be other people or a particular situation). They always seek for Rescuers to solve the problem for them. If the Victims continue to stay in the ‘dejected’ stance, it will prevent them from making decisions, solving problems, changing the current state, or sensing any satisfaction or achievement.
Rescuer – “Let me help you.”
Rescuers constantly intervene on behalf of the Victims and try to save Victims from perceived harm. They feel guilty of standing by and ‘watching people drown’.
Rescuers may have all the good intention and strive to ‘help’ other people as they see necessary. They fail to realise that by offering short-term fixes to Victims, they keep Victims dependent and neglect their own needs. This is why Rescuers often find themselves pressured, tired, and may not have time to finish their own tasks, as they are busy fire-fighting for the Victims as they arise!
Persecutor – “It’s all your fault.”
Persecutors are like ‘Critical Parents’ who are strict and firm and set boundaries. They tend to think that they must win at any cost.
Persecutors blame the Victims and criticize the behaviour of Rescuers, without providing appropriate guidance, assistance or a solution to the problem. They are critical and good at finding fault, and control with order and rigidity. They keep the Victims oppressed and sometimes can be a bully.
Are you a Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor?
Now you are aware of the Drama Triangle and the roles in the triangular setting. So are you a victim, a rescuer, or a persecutor?
If you’re human, chances are you may see yourself or be seen by others, as all three in different scenarios.
It is important to point out that the players in the Drama Triangle may switch roles during a mind game, and if anyone in this triangle changes roles, the other two roles change as well.