Originally Posted by ZTT

I've been a tatooist in my spare time for years, and I recommend everyone tries it at least once. It's great fun.

Like others have said though, you can't just pick up a tattoo thingy and start defacing paying customers immediately, that would be insane.

First, find some homeless people or stray dogs to practice on. And I know what you're thinking, homeless people are hairy. Of course you have to shave them; if tattooing was easy everyone would be doing it, wouldn't they? You can avoid this step if one of your friends has a child they won't miss for a few hours, but in my experience that rarely ends well.

Anyway, when the amount of lacerations you're inflicting approaches manageable levels and you can more or less scratch out an amorphous blob correctly almost every time, you can go into business for reals.

When someone comes into your new emporium and says, "Hi, I'd like William Blake's 'The Ancient of Days setting a Compass to the Earth', please", just go "Sounds cool, man. Dope. Wouldn't you rather have a bendy line with something approximating 'MOM' above it though?".

If they already have that, just ask "In Sanskrit?". They won't even know what it's supposed to look like, which is the Holy Grail for real tattoo pros.

Anyway, some top insider tips I learned over the years:

1. Always try to tattoo backs if you can. There is far more room to cross out mistakes and try again.
2. Don't have mirrors in the shop, they only ever cause problems.
3. Ideally have a mobile shop; the number of refunds and physical altercations will be cut to almost zero.

Happy carving!