Well... that was embarrassing!
Thanks for all the support and even the criticism, being able to talk shit from the hip is a godsend in such a mostly-sterile online world. So after I virtually pants'ed myself with that insane and embarrassing first post, I decided to do the automotive version of the same thing. I spent my last bit of cash on a $850 Canadian ($590 USD) 1999 Dodge Stratus. It's a purpley-blue, everything works including the heater! Chrysler's cloud cars are totally underrated, it handles like a dream! Misfire on cylinder two, need some new spark plugs. Anyways, I needed a car to get life going again, as my two other vehicles that I bought during COVID are totally fucked and broken and need to be sold or scrapped. My daughter misses me, and I need to get down to New Orleans to spend time with her and my family while they’re being snowbirds. Buuuuuut... I can’t just show up piss broke with no plan or hovel to return to.
Because I am basically an injured hermit with a hernia in the middle of nowhere, I've been using ChatGPT as my therapist. I talk to that electronic fucker all the time and I think it has helped me understand more about the how and why I am both so retarded and creative. We’ve been working through my mental health struggles and lo and behold the idea of selling off things that carry emotional baggage from the COVID years has been the best idea AI has given me yet. My broken cars, most of the shit I own, I picked them up during COVID and these things are like soul anchors I don’t need, and letting go of them is part of mentally resetting. ChatGPT also helped me realize that what I really need to feel like myself again is time with my kid where I'm making a positive difference in her life. Her spelling is atrocious, it is the worst irony for someone who has called himself a writer.
Spending that time with her is how I can reset my mood, rebuild my optimism, and repair the drive to actually participate in society again after the nightmare of COVID. I've been unable to put that era behind me and my mental health is just ridiculous as a result of being unable to move on. After this trip to New Orleans, when I come back to Canada, I want to feel fucking prepared for my hernia surgery(I got injured doing day labour gigs) and motivated to go all-in on my online business(es) afterward. I just need to find some momentum again as working on trying to build a video game and put Dugmor's likeness in Unreal Engine 5 when you can't even afford to go visit your kid is just stupid and fucked.
Since my stupid fucking post, I bought a car with money I saved from only getting blackout drunk once a week instead of half the week, but I also took old notes and writings I had and I’m launching ModernDatingHelp.com(Will have it online soon), starting with a book on the dating habit of ghosting. I know a lot of people offer dating guides or dating help, but mine will have its own little twist on things, and each e-book is tailored to a particular situation, like getting ghosted or when to ghost someone, and how to turn luke warm dates into friendships to expand your social circle, for example. I want to buy Reddit ads since sooooooo many Redditors rant about dating constantly. Who knows it if will make money or even help people but I have to think positive about this shit. I've always had tons of social skills in dealing with ladies and setting up cool events and attracting friends, so maybe I can make money passing some of my tips along. Fuuuuuuuck!
But right now, I need to get all my COVID shit sold and start healing my fucked brain. First step is... I need another fucking phone. With a phone, I can sell my stuff, document how fucked up everything is, and keep moving forward. Just don't ask what happened to my last phone, double fuuuuuuck!!!!
If anyone’s feeling the holiday spirit and wants to help me out, whether it’s for a phone, fixing my car, or just getting one step closer to seeing my kid, it would mean everything to me. PayPal:
[email protected] now that I have a CAR to actually get anywhere, I just need to hustle some sort of light duty delivery job, or chicken catching on a farm, while I work on selling all my shit and make this spiritual road trip journey to go see my kid, come back to Canada and get my hernia surgery, and while I'm recovering from my torn gut muscle getting stitched up, hopefully then I'll be in a mental headspace to really work online again and be able to give Dugmor the value for his $88.88, which I feel like a massive asshole for ruining the 8888th post with my retarded struggles and bullshit. Sharing my creativity on here with you fine people is something that brings me a ton of joy, but I can't let that creative side of me shine when I'm derelict in my duties as a father and feeling totally mind fucked as a result of that.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk!
Merry Christmas, GFY'ers, may 2025 bring us all good fortune!
