Ladies and gentlemen, degenerates and dreamers alike, I present to you the escalator to generational wealth, the gilded toilet throne of our collective futures.
Butthole Coin.
Picture it: with a meager $100 USD, you can join the rest of us, diving head-first into this brown digital orifice of financial construction. Get in now, because you'll miss out, we're gonna be lounging on a private island, non-Epstein obvs, Our anti-gravity UFOs will hover in loiter mode by the sandy shoreline, while android sexbots, clad in the finest tech lingerie, tend to our every depraved whim, retarded desire, and pillow in need of fluffing. All of it safeguarded by the unyielding, institutional, incorruptible fortress that is Butthole Coin.
This isn’t some scam masquerading as your ticket out of your boring lives. It’s a lifestyle. A religion. A chance to dive headfirst into a future of fecal-adjacent wealth so uniquely retarded and equal parts fucked up it could only come true in the year of our Lord 2025.
Become the Epicurean man you know you are inside. Embrace the tan-tinted dollar, the decadence of the starfish-coin, the audacity to believe in a poopvestment like this. Reach for the golden starfish.
Butthole Coin.
I have $4 to my name... I need to figure out how to yolo my $4 all-in on Butthole Coin. Is there a guide somewhere to get started?