I don't know, can all men?
I think the mental aspect was right on. She might be holding back for whatever reason and not even realize it or she may purposely hold herself back, because it embarrasses her in a way. It's hard for women to just let go and be sex maniacs when a lot of us worry about how fat we might look naked or how perky our breasts look lol.
I'm willing to bet, that even some of the guys who THINK their women are pleased, are being lied to by their women. Not a vicious lie, usually not intended to hurt anyone.
Trust is a big issue. She has to trust you completely. And I don't mean trust you with her life or trust you holding her checkbook. I mean, she has to trust that 1-) You aren't going to think less of her for whatever reason while having sex 2-) That you want her to have pleasure and not that you are just doing her a favor or being polite and 3-) That you are attracted to her body and reactions, no matter what they may be. Women have been preprogrammed with inhibitions since birth. The good girl thing, we don't want to seem like whores, even though a lot of us secretly love the idea of playing that character in bed.
You'd be surprised how many women have performance anxiety, even though they don't express it. A guy getting hard for you, isn't enough to know that he is really into being with you, because we all know some guys get hard when the wind blows. Make her feel as special and sexy as possible. I think talking dirty or things along that line during sex are a major turn on. She needs to get in the zone that men get in.
If all else fails, get her super drunk
She will definitely let loose then!
PS. Use lubrication. If she isn't... umm... moist enough, this could be a problem as well. I think the wetter the area, the better for a woman. Sometimes dry friction is like, ugh get it over with
