Buff

Man. I love her. She cooks for me without asking, cleans up for me, won't even let me help do any chores. I have to muscle her out of the way to do anything, even take out the trash. All she wants to do is make me happy -- I don't know what I did to deserve this, and it kind of makes me feel guilty.

And since I'm feeling guilty, it strikes me that I have found just about the perfect Christmas gift for my girlfriend, Crystal. I heard a radio ad for some company that lets you name stars after loved ones. First, it's so goddamn romantic (My angel girl's in heaven, where she belongs). And second, even if I buy her a crappy star, one that explodes in a supernova next week or collapses into a black hole in a month or so, it'll be like 12.4 million years before she knows it's broken. How sweet is that?