I know exactly what you are going through.
My middle ear muscle acts up on occassions..ususally sparked by allergies. I got "officially" diganosed as having "chronic labrynthitis" (sp?).
Two things that I have found that help are:
Meclizine (usually taken for motion sickness in cars and boats)
Trans-scop dermal patch..also used for motion sickness. It's a little round patch you put behind the outside of your ear. It "quiets" the muscle that acts up.
(Btw..scop dermal was approved until the early 90s. This stuff is what the American Indian used to smoke in some of their ceremonies. So..not only does it help..but gives you a pleasant buzz too!
)