Seriously alcohol or whatever will not solve your problems or issues , it will temporarily subside them
I would suggest a visit to a counsoler or a shrink. Talk about it , let it out. He will guide you and help you. Everytime you feel problems is no reason for you to hit the bottle. Alcohol is not the answer. It controls you life and actions. I only met you once man and you seemed like a nice guy. You prob are a nice guy but seems alcohol turns you into a Mr Hyde. Seek help , dont be too proud to get it.
