I was flaming in my first post,.. it happens a bit : \ .. I just see myself where I am now, and see what Is required for me to be a a better man, and Its just huge

thats why im frustrated I guess. I want to provide, yes, and (dontknow for sure) I wont get into a relationship unless I have a solid, 'correct', foundation built. By correct I mean I was raised in this culture (im22) and what I learned and saw around me growing up is very different that where I want to be. And Where I am now and the location which I see as 'correct' are so far apart like I said. And I apologize for my flames, I do that sometimes.
Basically, yes, I want to be a better man, and See it is difficult. Ok, im going to be quite now, I already wasted enough of your time.