dougeetx

> Y'allbonics
>
> The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating
Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern
schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:
>
> BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
> Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
>
> JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
> Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>
> BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
> Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
improvements."
>
> HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.
> HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
> Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
>
> MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
> Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from
him in munts."
>
> THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
> Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>
> BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
> Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>
> IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
> Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
>
> RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
> Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
>
> ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
> Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
>
> FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
> Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck,
that thing's gonna catch far."
>
> TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
> Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar
in my pickup truck."
>
> TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
> Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
>
> RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
> Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
>
> FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
> Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
>
> RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
> Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
>
> FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
> Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed.... must be from some farn
country."
>
> ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen.
> Usage "He cain't breathe.... give 'im some ARE!"
>
> BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
> Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
>
> JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
> Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war
fence cump'ny?"
>
> HAZE - a contraction.
> Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah.... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
minnit'n 'is laf."
>
> SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
> VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
> Usage "I ain't never seed New York City.... view?"
>
> CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
> Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
>
> DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
> Usage "He's did, Jim."

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