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PersianKitty · 01-29-2002, 02:51 AM

okay..quick and dirty..

Married the guy in 1990. Was too naive at the time to know he was into cocaine. Spent the first five years dealing with his compulsive lying, the drugs (never at home but always not coming home from work on paydays), gambling, etc. I did my best to keep the bills paid during that time..always trying to convince myself there was light at the end of the tunnel. He finally bottomed out on the drugs and things seemed pretty stable except for an occassional slip, but still lied like crazy. Problem was I became too good a detective. I knew his ways.

Started the website in late 95, it grew like gangbusters from there. Bought a new home and moved in 1997. Ex quit his job in 97 or 98..sat on his butt alot, did some of the Mr Mom kind of stuff. My oldest son met a girl in 98 while in 8th grade and started 'going together'. The girl's mother is a bipolar, welfare dependent, hypochondriac who lived her life half doped up on phsych meds and bragged about being in a mental hospital and about living in a car with her daughter for a year.

In the spring of 99, I started feeling like something wasn't right. My ex kept telling me he thought I was going crazy. He even would ask my kids if they thought I was. In June, I finally asked him if he was 'seeing' my son's girlfriend's mother. He, of course, went ballistic which told me I'd hit the nail on the head.

He had the balls or lack of to think I'd let him have a 'mistress' on the side like I was so desparate to keep him around. Guess he figured it would be no different then the shyt he used to pull. I found that he'd funneled about $10K to her over a few months. Packed him a bag, told him to come get it, and changed the locks. He decided that our marriage 'deserved' another try.. rather I guess she decided. So after 3 weeks I let him back for an attempt at fixing things. Went to counseling for a few sessions together..only after all was said and done to be told by the counselor that he was the most immature, self-serving 40+ year old man she'd ever seen.

Needless to say I wouldn't let my son continue to see the girl anymore. It stung him bad for a while but seeing how she is now, it was for the best.

He spent every penny he had when we split so he couldn't afford an attorney and wanted me to give him more money so he could so he couldn't force me to have my business valuated. Property settlement ended up with me paying him $250K (after taxes) over 4 years, and he got the boat worth $150K while I got the loan of $85K. If they'd valued my business it could have been several million.

He lives way beyond any means a person living on someone else's money for the short term should. She's helping him spend the money very well.

He called me last week wanting to sell the boat. If and when he ever finds a buyer he thought I'd just shell out the loan balance overnight.

One saving grace, he's not the father of my two kids so I don't have to deal with him other then writing a check each month and when he calls about wanting something.

Doubt I'll ever get married again. Since then it seems like all the guys I've dated get way to comfortable with the funds way too fast. They end up being told it's a two way street or a dead end.

01-29-2002, 02:51 AM
PersianKitty Meow Media Inc. Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod Posts: 7,785	okay..quick and dirty.. Married the guy in 1990. Was too naive at the time to know he was into cocaine. Spent the first five years dealing with his compulsive lying, the drugs (never at home but always not coming home from work on paydays), gambling, etc. I did my best to keep the bills paid during that time..always trying to convince myself there was light at the end of the tunnel. He finally bottomed out on the drugs and things seemed pretty stable except for an occassional slip, but still lied like crazy. Problem was I became too good a detective. I knew his ways. Started the website in late 95, it grew like gangbusters from there. Bought a new home and moved in 1997. Ex quit his job in 97 or 98..sat on his butt alot, did some of the Mr Mom kind of stuff. My oldest son met a girl in 98 while in 8th grade and started 'going together'. The girl's mother is a bipolar, welfare dependent, hypochondriac who lived her life half doped up on phsych meds and bragged about being in a mental hospital and about living in a car with her daughter for a year. In the spring of 99, I started feeling like something wasn't right. My ex kept telling me he thought I was going crazy. He even would ask my kids if they thought I was. In June, I finally asked him if he was 'seeing' my son's girlfriend's mother. He, of course, went ballistic which told me I'd hit the nail on the head. He had the balls or lack of to think I'd let him have a 'mistress' on the side like I was so desparate to keep him around. Guess he figured it would be no different then the shyt he used to pull. I found that he'd funneled about $10K to her over a few months. Packed him a bag, told him to come get it, and changed the locks. He decided that our marriage 'deserved' another try.. rather I guess she decided. So after 3 weeks I let him back for an attempt at fixing things. Went to counseling for a few sessions together..only after all was said and done to be told by the counselor that he was the most immature, self-serving 40+ year old man she'd ever seen. Needless to say I wouldn't let my son continue to see the girl anymore. It stung him bad for a while but seeing how she is now, it was for the best. He spent every penny he had when we split so he couldn't afford an attorney and wanted me to give him more money so he could so he couldn't force me to have my business valuated. Property settlement ended up with me paying him $250K (after taxes) over 4 years, and he got the boat worth $150K while I got the loan of $85K. If they'd valued my business it could have been several million. He lives way beyond any means a person living on someone else's money for the short term should. She's helping him spend the money very well. He called me last week wanting to sell the boat. If and when he ever finds a buyer he thought I'd just shell out the loan balance overnight. One saving grace, he's not the father of my two kids so I don't have to deal with him other then writing a check each month and when he calls about wanting something. Doubt I'll ever get married again. Since then it seems like all the guys I've dated get way to comfortable with the funds way too fast. They end up being told it's a two way street or a dead end. Last edited by PersianKitty; 01-29-2002 at 02:59 AM..