Top 11 things not to do when a few FBI agents pop by for a cordial chat.
11. Ask why they hadn't come before the Democratic National Convention.
10. Offer them candy and compliment them on their costumes.
9. Make homophobic remarks about J. Edgar Hoover.
8. Shut the door explaning that you already subscribe to The Watchtower.
7. Lament that they just missed the CIA fellows that Porter Goss sent by.
6. Demonstrate the 600 foot-tall holographic projection you created for... ummmm... the Burning Man festival.
5. Speak loudly, to make sure that John A-s-h-c-r-o-f-t can hear you.
4. Wonder aloud that their visit must indicate that they've caught everyone on their "Most Wanted List."
3. Show them the "Federal Boob Inspector" T-shirt you bought outside the Smithsonian.
2. Insist on hugging goodbye.
1. Make a top 11 list about it.
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