Greg B

I say we cut through the bullshit and all join the forces of 'Evil'.

We can all grow goatees and wear capes and snarl at passersby.

We can pitch in and buy an old castle and train vultures to fly around it.

Why beat around the bush? This planet has just entered into the 'Pimp The Planet Stupid' phase and it's either pimp or be pimped.

The only thing you can trust nowadays is 'Evil' because 'Good' is too busy frontin' a show.

Just admit it. You've always wanted to be 'Evil'. Drive a black car and dress your chick up like 'Morticia Addams' on crack.

You can even hire bumbling henchmen all dressed the same with numbers on their shirts like 'Henchman #1' and 'Henchman #2'. They'll of course say things like 'Yeah Boss!" and other such kiss assy stuff.

I've got a few 'Evil' tricks up my sleeve. We can call 'missing pets' ads and say "I've found your golden retriever Fido but I couldn't keep him. I sent him to the pound 8 days ago!". Or something really evil like going to adoption agencies pretending to be wealthy parents and meeting all the kids and staff and at the last minute have your girlfriend turn to you and say, " Honey, do you think that felony conviction of child cannabalism will hurt our chances of adopting?"

I mean get downright good at being evil. We can have our own political party too, theme song, reality show, breakfast cereal.

I say we knock off the pretense and just do what we do best.