11-01-2004, 07:14 AM
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: go troll goo!
Posts: 7,708
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tam
I have been homeless many times....... being raised by a drunken father, we were kicked out of our home more times than I care to talk about........ sitting there watching TV and having someone come in and take everything you have because your dad spent all the money on booze... this happened many times. When I was 7, he moved us into a shack with no glass in the windo panes, no running water and barely any electricity. We had to heat with a wood stove, there wasn't such a thing as food stamps, there was commodities and that's what kept me and my little brother alive for 2-3 years. Powdered eggs, peanut butter, instant mashed potatoes.......... yummy!! When I was 7, he kicked my mom out after beating her to a pulp and then turned around and beat me so bad that Drs said by all rights, I should have been dead, he told them that my mom did it. He slipped me Doan's Pills and went right to the beating, saying he was beating my mother out of me. From the age of 7 til I was 17, if something didn't go right in his life, he beat me, broke my nose many times and I still suffer from long term effects of that..... Authorities couldn't do anything back then because they had to schedule meetings to come into your home...... so he'd cleverly schedule them after the bruises and bones were healed.
When I was 8, I was raising a 6 yr old brother, going to the store to get groceries, I did all the cooking, all the cleaning and if something wasn't cleaned, I got the hell beat out of me. Having to take a drunk father to the bathroom and get him into bed from the time I was 7 til I was 17, this was a norm for me. Under his watchful eye, I was molested 3 times and each time I was beaten harshly for "allowing" this to happen to me.
As an adult, I have been homeless 1 time, it lasted several months, but thank god I had a very supportive family. I lost my mind at the age of 32 and we lost everything we had. My husband and I BOTH had nervous breakdowns at the same time, and I still have no idea how we managed to get thru that, but we did, and quite well, and as a much stronger family unit. His was over the loss of both of his parents within 15 months as well as losing a baby. Mine was over the harsh reality that I had to accept that not only one of but both of my parents would just rather I was dead than to have to deal with me and the loss of the baby.
I don't ever seek or want pity, because I did manage to pull myself together with the help of my husband, who deserves MUCH kudos for having the strength to deal with ME in the middle of his own hell......... I give him 200% credit for having gotten me thru all of this, and without him, I think I would be dead right now. I am much stronger for having dealt with all of this, and a much better person..... it's all taught me how NOT to treat my kids, my family and my friends. I am a fierce protector of ALL of my relationships and that's what all of this has done for me, so I am actually better for having had this kind of life, I have had the horrors, and I know what they feel like. 
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I dont know how you feel about your dad right now ? maybe he is dead already... if he is not ? I would not have any problem killing him in cold blood
maybe that is wrong and I am no better than him if I would do that , but one thing is for sure I wouldn't feel bad about it
reading this makes me think you are a VERY VERY strong person |
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