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From late april to mid-june tahoe is meant to be realitively tourist free...it gives us time to clean our guns, buy more shells and actually enjoy the paradise we all work so hard to defile via the tourist industry.
Lensman, before heading to the sierra's lemme give you some helpful tips to make your trip more enjoyable and safe, feel free to pass them along to your friends...
- If you have a large SUV, that comfortably fits 12, make sure to cut the amount of friends riding with you to 2 or 0 preferably. I'm sure they have their own oversized SUV they could drive adding to the overall "Homey" feeling of traffic and smog, just because you're on vacation, doesn't mean you shouldn't feel at home.
- I you are driving that oversized SUV, remember you car is larger and more expensive than the majority of other cars on the road, which in turn gives you the right of way by default, and you shouldn't really have to stop for anything.
- carry chains...you need them so you can drive 20 miles an hour thru town stopping traffic randomly to take them off or inspect them. Alternatively driving 45 with chains on is also a popular means of destroying your fenders and wheel wells.
- When you come down from the mountain...don't bother taking your boots or snow clothes of before joining your favorite apres ski spot. Nothing says posh skier like stumbling around in ski boots like a fucking moron in your day glo jump suit going "zip, zip, zip, zip" as you walk around, goggles on your head, hands stinking of sweaty ski gloves...chicks dig this get up!
- Lastly, on your way home, be sure to stop somewhere on the summit to park on the side of the highway, throw a few snow bals, take a few pics, and hopefully get plowed by an oversized SUV, as it careens out of control...
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