Why it sucks to be a penis:
You've got a hole in your head. Your master
strangles you all the time. Your head is
disproportionate to the rest of your body. You
shrink in cold water. You never get a haircut.
You always hang around with 2 nuts. Your
closest neighbor is an asshole. Your best
friend is a pussy. Your scalp gets cut off if
you're Jewish. Every time you get excited, you
throw up.
