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Old 04-01-2005, 12:11 AM  
CybermedAndy
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,170
:mad No Phoenix Forum for me, Fuck you very much US Customs (RANT)

I've just returned home from a trip to Vancouver having been denied entry into the USA by a dickless douchebag customs agent with a massive little man complex.

I left early this morning with one of our models to catch the ferry to Vancouver. I could not be more excited about heading down there, especially since Vegas was such a great time in January. We arrive well on time to the airport and are pulled aside by US customs for questioning.

No big deal, happens all the time, I travel to the USA 4-5 times a year. I'm assigned a scrawny 130 pound snickering, condescending agent who proceeds to ask me about past criminal history. I answer the same way I always do, Yes, I have a drug conviction- posession of pot.

That I got when I was 15 years old..

Yes, 15 years ago. And a clean record since, haven't even had so much as a drop of alcohol in 12 years now, much less drugs.

Well our US customs agent has decided now that he would like to flex what little power he has- to the absolute maximum level possible. He begins with small remarks to try and get a rise out of me, insinuating that I am lying to him. I smile and respond politely and honestly to every question. I'm so excited about the Phoenix Forum that it doesn't even occur to me that I'm not going to be allowed into the country.

I ask him politely if there's any chance of us still making the flight, to which answer nothing more than a slight shrug.

He asks me how much I was busted with 15 years ago, I say I honestly don't remember. To which he smirks, rolls his eyes and leans back and looks over to the other agents shaking his head.

I'm in disbelief at this stage at what a complete asshat this guy is. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he's acting like such an unprofessional jerk.

He then asks me with much incredulation "How can you not remember how much you had?!" To which I reply "Because it was 15 years ago" with my voice rising all of 3 decibals.

He then gives me the wide-eyes and warns me for a full minute that if I so much as raise my voice to him again he will have me thrown out of the airport. "Would you like that? You want me to have you thrown outta here?" he says to me. It suddenly dawns on me: I'm being verbally bullied by a man-child.

I'm instructed to wait outside, where another customs official (different department) kindly offers myself and my friend a drink, and, seeing my total frustration, confides in me that the guy I'm dealing with has a history of complaints against him. He strongly encourages me to lodge a complaint, insinuating that the guy I'm dealing with has few strikes against him left.

Meanwhile our flight has long since left. The airline has come into customs to instruct us that there won't be another flight until tomorrow.

The guy finally calls me back to his counter to happily tell me that they have found sufficient grounds to deny me entry into the USA. I calmly ask why, and he informs me that the found the drug charge to be sufficient enough reason to deny me.

The pot charge I incurred 15 years ago as a young teen.

I speak to his supervisor who tells me that he actually had suggested I be allowed through as the matter was so trivial, but the little man syndrome victim insisted I not be allowed.

I let little man syndrome victim know I'll be lodging a complaint against him for the way he handled it. He responds with the expected smarmy reply "Great! I hope you do!".

I tell the other (kind and helpful) agent that I will be writing a letter letting his bosses know how helpful and considerate he was through the ordeal.

For all of you in Phoenix who I was so looking forward to meeting and networking with, hopefully sometime soon, August Internext provided I can get this cleared up by then.

Have fun in Phoenix this weekend everyone, wish I could be there with you.

<End Rant>
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