I have no reasonable explanation either. I'm asleep Saturday morning with a lady friend of mine. I'm dreaming, I suppose. In the dream, I think I'm letting a good piss go.
I wake up and jump! I feel warmth around my waist area (I was on my side) accompanied by the overwhelming feeling of having to piss......I think I must have only let about 1/2 out before I woke up.
I jump up and take a squirt. I come back to the bed and it's bad.....REAL BAD!
A 10X10 inch circle of warm piss on my navy blue top sheet. Well boys, nothing can make a man panick more then being in bed with a girl they are interested in as more than a fuck buddy after just pissing yourself.
Seriously, how can you explain that? I didn't have one alcoholic drink Friday night either. Strange.
So anyway, I put a small towel on it and laid on it and pulled the covers up. It was only 6am so I laid there with my eyes wide open in dead panic.....waiting for her to wake and spring whatever plan I could think of into action.
She awoke, all chipper as usual, so I tried to put on my best chipper face and suggested she get a shower first since she takes longer. God must have been on my side because she smiles and goes to take a shower.
As soon as the door closed, I start working like a maniac. I strip the bedsheet, mattress cover and pillowcases (to complete my eventual cover story) and run them down to the washing machine. While she is in the shower, I grab a can of lysol under my sink. A little piss seeped through to my goddamn brand new 700 dollar mattress.
I sopped it up with said towel and lysoled the fuck out of the mattress. Put the comforter on and make the bed.
She comes out a minute or so later with the inquisitive look on her face. I quickly say "Yeah, I always break down the bed on Saturday Morning and wash my sheets and stuff".
I THINK I
might have gotten away with it. She didn't say anything since. I still can't believe I pissed the fucking bed. :sad: