SteveLightspeed

this one came up today in conversation -- needs a 2005 refresher


Let's scrap the traditional convention classes and really cut to the burning issues of today's webmasters. With classes like:

on security: "How to hide the evidence of drunken debauchery from your spouse" subtitled, "don't bring her panties and a used condom home in your bag"

on banking: "How to hide all your assets in offshore accounts and disappear without a trace"

on dialers: "How to launder your international dialer money"

on processing: "How to have a double pre-checked crosssell without chargeback worries"

legal briefs: "Are FSC and ASCAP the same people with different agendas?"

on content: "Making money with reality sites: How to abuse, degrade, and humiliate women for a fast buck"

and for 2005: "The new hot single girl sites: There's money in braces and bigwheels!"

VIP: And the by-invitation for-big-dogs-only "If you need to come to this class, you're not as big as you think"

Affiliate programs: "When ripping off surfers is not enough, how to fuck webmasters too"

newbies: "Pornschool 101: Learn from the people who don't care enough about you to actually prepare a presentation ahead of time or even show up sober to talk to you"

And the ultimate in new money making schemes -- "Pimping the Pimps: Host your own porn convention and make them pay to meet you!"

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Abra-cadabra!