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I have to agree with some of the posts that state that you really should look in the mirror at a lot of the problems you are having. Hiring private detectives, tracking her online activity, and digging through everything in her life isn't healthy for any relationship. If she hasn't cheated, you are likely pushing her toward it. Have you ever considered that maybe you are just being paranoid?
However, this seems like it is incredibilly stressful on your life. I know you love her and probably the life you have, but if it is making you miserable, I'd say leave regardless. I can't imagine being happy having to sit around and find out if your signifigant other is cheating on you. Here are my 3 suggestions:
1) Keep digging. This will cause you a lot of hassle and time. You may never find anything and your life may be miserable during it.
2) Demand she prove her innocence. She has to take some responsibility in the relationship to make you feel comfortable with her. If she is making jokes, playing games, or whatever, it needs to stop. If she can't make you feel better, you should leave.
3) Bluff. Act like you caught her. Pretend to be really mad and when she asks, just say "you'll see". If she thinks you caught her, she'll admit it most likely. It's risky, but it works.
Seriously wish you the best of luck in your situation.
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