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I need a raise
Subject: I Need a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in
salary for the following
reasons: I do physical labour. I work at great
depths. I plunge head first
into everything I do. I do not get weekends or
public holidays off. I work
in a damp environment. I don't get paid
overtime. I work in a dark workplace
that has poor ventilation. I work in high
temperatures. My work exposes me
to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
The Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering
the arguments you raised, the
administration rejects your request for the
following reasons: You do not
work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the
job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the
management team. You do not
stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative- you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order
to start working. You leave the workplace
rather messy at the end of your
shift. You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you
are 65. You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your
designated work area before you have completed
the assigned task. And if
that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering, and exiting, the
workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management.
Tanker
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