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Funny Booty Call
> >Pre-Booty Call Agreement
> >
> >This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as
> the "Agreement")
> >is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002,
> >by_______________________, between
> ____________and______________.
> >
> >THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
> PRINCIPLES:
> >
> >1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to
> repeat it in
> >the morning.
> >
> >2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before
> the events of
> >the evening.
> >
> >3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
>
> >
> >4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
> >
> >5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with
> this? Do you
> >love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
> >
> >6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called
> the "backup,"
> >unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time
> advanced
> >arrangement.
> >
> >7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
> >
> >8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
> >
> >9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's
> really none of
> >your damn business.
> >
> >10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are
> not friends,
> >just sex buddies.
> >
> >11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be
> offended.
> >
> >12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving
> anything behind
> >when you leave.
> >
> >13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get
> your ass up,
> >get dressed and go the fuck home.
> >
> >14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I
> don't care.
> >
> >15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
> >
> >16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will
> be: "My
> >roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
> >
> >17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is
> less eye
> >contact the better.
> >
> >18. No condoms, no fucking.. Carry your ass home.
> >
> >19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
> >
> >20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back
> looking for
> >your ass.
> >
> >* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
> >The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder
> of the
> >agreement.
> >If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of
> this
> >Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and
> you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and
> deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words,
> you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly
> ass understands the rules.
> >
> >Participating Party
> >
> >Signature______________________________________ _
> >Date: ________________
> >
> >Participating Party
> >
> >Signature______________________________________ _
> >Date: ________________
> >
__________________
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