Lessons - GoFuckYourself.com

MrMaxwell · 05-13-2011, 03:32 PM

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever..

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.

25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

L-Pink · 05-13-2011, 03:40 PM

Very good list, #18 hit home regarding recent behavior.

Scott McD · 05-13-2011, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

Especially for on here!!

CYF · 05-13-2011, 05:21 PM

great list

Vjo · 05-13-2011, 06:34 PM

Mostly all spot on.

"5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?"

hehe so true

Farang · 05-13-2011, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

10. Bad decisions make good stories

Haha true

Si · 05-13-2011, 06:55 PM

great list!

Number 12 rings true already, with 3d blu ray coming out!

Chosen · 05-14-2011, 12:39 AM

Nice list

AdultKing · 05-14-2011, 12:59 AM

Excellent list!

icymelon · 05-14-2011, 01:02 AM

26.Do one good deed a day, the piggy went wee weeeee all the way home. do it daily it will put a smile on most peoples faces.

marlboroack · 05-14-2011, 01:20 AM

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

V_RocKs · 05-14-2011, 02:10 AM

About 3 mins I won't be getting back for info I already knew...

seeandsee · 05-14-2011, 05:05 AM

i like part about cell phone numbers, i do something similar

CaptainHowdy · 05-14-2011, 06:44 AM

I'm not reading that ...

plsureking · 05-14-2011, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

i stopped at 1 because i dont have all fucking day.

but ya i did this for a friend of mine that died.
i dumped all his sex toys, porn dvds, and stroker mags too.

.

AnimeFevers · 05-14-2011, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

MrMaxwell · 05-14-2011, 04:36 PM

Sometimes e-mail forwards aren't so bad!

05-13-2011, 05:21 PM	#4
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05-14-2011, 01:02 AM	#10
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05-14-2011, 05:05 AM	#13
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05-14-2011, 06:44 AM	#14
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 92,999	I'm not reading that ... __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

05-13-2011, 03:32 PM	#1
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	Lessons 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered. 25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

05-13-2011, 03:40 PM	#2
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	Very good list, #18 hit home regarding recent behavior.

05-13-2011, 06:34 PM	#5
Vjo So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Happy 4th of July :) Posts: 6,082	Mostly all spot on. "5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?" hehe so true

05-13-2011, 06:55 PM	#7
Si Such Fun! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 13,900	great list! Number 12 rings true already, with 3d blu ray coming out!

05-14-2011, 12:39 AM	#8
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151	Nice list

05-14-2011, 12:59 AM	#9
AdultKing Raise Your Weapon Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Outback Australia Posts: 15,605	Excellent list!

05-14-2011, 01:20 AM	#11
marlboroack So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ☣ Posts: 9,327	10. Bad decisions make good stories.

05-14-2011, 02:10 AM	#12
V_RocKs Damn Right I Kiss Ass! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cowtown, USA Posts: 32,391	About 3 mins I won't be getting back for info I already knew...

05-14-2011, 04:36 PM	#17
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	Sometimes e-mail forwards aren't so bad!