Open letter to the gentleman blow-drying his balls in the gym locker room - GoFuckYourself.com

GTS Mark · 06-05-2011, 04:54 PM

AN OPEN LETTER
TO THE GENTLEMAN
BLOW-DRYING HIS BALLS
IN THE GYM LOCKER ROOM.

May 27, 2011

- - - -

Dear gentleman blow-drying his balls in the gym locker room,

You're actually doing it. I mean, we've all dreamt of blow-drying our balls out in the open, but you're actually doing it in front of me and at least sixteen other people that just finished exercising at this pricey sports club. Some of us will do it in private in our homes, or in a hotel room using a hairdryer a stranger might have just used to style their hair for that big business meeting in Denver. But not you. You are not confined to such social norms, norms that usually keep flapping, flag-like balls out of my eyes.

Does the courage to do this in public come with age? Perhaps it's something a young man like me can't understand. But you, you are on in years; gray and spotted like a ham in a paintball fight. Your scrotum reminds me of boardwalk taffy. Maybe you've been building up to this day your whole life and I'm witnessing the birth of a phoenix. You are no longer a man that blow-dries his balls in secret. You have transcended that station and now fall into an elite group of Spartans that blow-dry their balls wherever they God damn please. If caterpillars emerged from their cocoons as butterflies with heavy, sagging testicles I'd imagine they'd feel the same as you might right now.

Maybe you're making up for the fact that you no longer have any hair on your head that requires blow-drying. Is grabbing a hairdryer a rote, preening response from your earlier years when you and your majestic mane would say things like, "bees knees" to fresh-faced nurses at the pool hall while discussing the Teapot Dome scandal? Did they have hairdryers back then? I think my ability to correctly recall history is being affected by the sight of your twin sperm fountains.

I especially appreciate the way you've got one leg up on the counter. Not only does this allow the hot jet stream of air a more direct passage to your gene-carrying duffle bag, it also gives me an intrusive view to the white fields of pubis covering your taint and beyond. It almost makes me think of Santa Claus, but I was not sexually abused by Kris Kringle as a child. Speaking of Christmas, were the Adidas soccer sandals you use as shower shoes a gift from a grandchild?

Your actions disturb and inspire, and I can't look away. I'm either swelling with physical repulsion or the joy a parent feels watching their child take their first steps. Only in this case the child is an 84-year-old man with a hairdryer aimed at his balls. Whatever the case, you're an exemplar of bravery. So, please, shine on you withering diamond.

Thanks!
Ross Beeley

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/open...27blowdry.html

Grapesoda · 06-05-2011, 05:02 PM

THAT is fucking awesome!

TubeKing · 06-05-2011, 05:02 PM

didn't read any of that, not sure why you googled 'guys balls in gym' anyway.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 06-05-2011, 05:08 PM

Cool story bro...

ADG

J. Falcon · 06-05-2011, 05:19 PM

That's why I stay away from locker rooms.

amateurbfs · 06-05-2011, 05:24 PM

Gotta prevent jock itch somehow. Moisture allows fungus to grow!

bronco67 · 06-05-2011, 05:25 PM

In my La Fitness, there's a guy that looks like a hairy yeti with an outy belly button as big as a baseball -- and he LOVES to walk around the locker room completely naked as much as possible. I'm comfortable with my own body, but I wonder why its always that guys that no have business parading their ugliness around, always end up being the ones that do it too much. Put a towel around that you fucking bog beast.

Grapesoda · 06-05-2011, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

In my La Fitness, there's a guy that looks like a hairy yeti with an outy belly button as big as a baseball -- and he LOVES to walk around the locker room completely naked as much as possible. I'm comfortable with my own body, but I wonder why its always that guys that no have business parading their ugliness around, always end up being the ones that do it too much. Put a towel around that you fucking bog beast.

I always wonder why guys gotta moan when they take piss??

bronco67 · 06-05-2011, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bm bradley

I always wonder why guys gotta moan when they take piss??

I hate it when guys in the rest room practically get inside the urinal when they take a piss. Like they're afraid someone is trying to look at their dick. Be a man and put some space between you and the urinal. No one wants to see your dick.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 06-05-2011, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

I hate it when guys in the rest room practically get inside the urinal when they take a piss. Like they're afraid someone is trying to look at their dick.

Be a man and put some space between you and the urinal.

No one wants to see your dick.

It's always the ones that say that, that you have to watch out for...

ADG

bronco67 · 06-05-2011, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

It's always the ones that say that, that you have to watch out for...

ADG

haha yeah, I walked into that one

-- but honestly, its just a little disconcerting to see men almost crawling inside the urinal. Be proud of your shit

eroticsexxx · 06-05-2011, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

Put a towel around that you fucking bog beast.

06-05-2011, 04:54 PM	#1
GTS Mark Formerly known as DH! :) Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,911	Open letter to the gentleman blow-drying his balls in the gym locker room AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GENTLEMAN BLOW-DRYING HIS BALLS IN THE GYM LOCKER ROOM. May 27, 2011 - - - - Dear gentleman blow-drying his balls in the gym locker room, You're actually doing it. I mean, we've all dreamt of blow-drying our balls out in the open, but you're actually doing it in front of me and at least sixteen other people that just finished exercising at this pricey sports club. Some of us will do it in private in our homes, or in a hotel room using a hairdryer a stranger might have just used to style their hair for that big business meeting in Denver. But not you. You are not confined to such social norms, norms that usually keep flapping, flag-like balls out of my eyes. Does the courage to do this in public come with age? Perhaps it's something a young man like me can't understand. But you, you are on in years; gray and spotted like a ham in a paintball fight. Your scrotum reminds me of boardwalk taffy. Maybe you've been building up to this day your whole life and I'm witnessing the birth of a phoenix. You are no longer a man that blow-dries his balls in secret. You have transcended that station and now fall into an elite group of Spartans that blow-dry their balls wherever they God damn please. If caterpillars emerged from their cocoons as butterflies with heavy, sagging testicles I'd imagine they'd feel the same as you might right now. Maybe you're making up for the fact that you no longer have any hair on your head that requires blow-drying. Is grabbing a hairdryer a rote, preening response from your earlier years when you and your majestic mane would say things like, "bees knees" to fresh-faced nurses at the pool hall while discussing the Teapot Dome scandal? Did they have hairdryers back then? I think my ability to correctly recall history is being affected by the sight of your twin sperm fountains. I especially appreciate the way you've got one leg up on the counter. Not only does this allow the hot jet stream of air a more direct passage to your gene-carrying duffle bag, it also gives me an intrusive view to the white fields of pubis covering your taint and beyond. It almost makes me think of Santa Claus, but I was not sexually abused by Kris Kringle as a child. Speaking of Christmas, were the Adidas soccer sandals you use as shower shoes a gift from a grandchild? Your actions disturb and inspire, and I can't look away. I'm either swelling with physical repulsion or the joy a parent feels watching their child take their first steps. Only in this case the child is an 84-year-old man with a hairdryer aimed at his balls. Whatever the case, you're an exemplar of bravery. So, please, shine on you withering diamond. Thanks! Ross Beeley http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/open...27blowdry.html __________________ Looking For Gay, Dating, Mobile, Banner, Hardlinks, IM Ads Or Popunder Traffic? ICQ 5191566 / E-mail: [email protected] Follow Us On Twitter. Also Sign Up For Our Newsletter For Updated Weekly Traffic Inventory

06-05-2011, 05:08 PM	#4
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Cool story bro... ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

06-05-2011, 05:19 PM	#5
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,562	That's why I stay away from locker rooms. __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

06-05-2011, 05:24 PM	#6
amateurbfs Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,316	Gotta prevent jock itch somehow. Moisture allows fungus to grow! __________________

06-05-2011, 05:25 PM	#7
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,035	In my La Fitness, there's a guy that looks like a hairy yeti with an outy belly button as big as a baseball -- and he LOVES to walk around the locker room completely naked as much as possible. I'm comfortable with my own body, but I wonder why its always that guys that no have business parading their ugliness around, always end up being the ones that do it too much. Put a towel around that you fucking bog beast. __________________ Last edited by bronco67; 06-05-2011 at 05:26 PM..

06-05-2011, 05:02 PM	#2
Grapesoda So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Montana Posts: 46,238	THAT is fucking awesome!

06-05-2011, 05:02 PM	#3
TubeKing Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 541	didn't read any of that, not sure why you googled 'guys balls in gym' anyway.