A guy comes home from work and finds his wife... - GoFuckYourself.com

kane · 07-06-2011, 04:06 AM

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife packing her suitcase. He asks her what she is doing.

"I'm moving to Vegas, " she says.

"Really? Why?" he asks.

"I saw on TV that prostitution is legal in Nevada and that girls get $400 just for blowjobs. I figure I might as well get paid for what I give you for free."

The guy goes to the closet, grabs his suitcase and starts packing.

"What you are doing?" the wife asks.

"I'm going with you."

"Why?" she wonders.

"I want to see how you plan on living on $800 a year."

Probably an old joke, but a friend emailed it to me today and it made me laugh.

jigg · 07-06-2011, 04:09 AM

funny

Phoenix · 07-06-2011, 04:48 AM

nice one..lol

Harmon · 07-06-2011, 04:52 AM

Sid70 · 07-06-2011, 04:57 AM

Love it. Bitches always think they are Queens.

buildingfutures · 07-06-2011, 04:59 AM

Hahah, thanks for posting

adultchatpay · 07-06-2011, 05:04 AM

that's a good one. lol

________

loreen · 07-06-2011, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sid70

Love it. Bitches always think they are Queens.

It's better than thinking they are trash.
I guess.

TRe$yNFuL · 07-06-2011, 06:17 AM

Hahahahahahaha, sweet!

woj · 07-06-2011, 06:24 AM

marlboroack · 07-06-2011, 06:27 AM

LOL, now that was pretty funny.

GregE · 07-06-2011, 09:34 AM

That was good.

Rochard · 07-06-2011, 09:40 AM

LOL... Made me laugh all right!

Chosen · 07-06-2011, 09:58 AM

96ukssob · 07-06-2011, 10:10 AM

good joke

JayDeeZee · 07-06-2011, 10:17 AM

LOL - That was a good one!

drmadcat · 07-06-2011, 10:19 AM

liked it

19teenporn · 07-06-2011, 10:24 AM

Lmao, good one...

Spunky · 07-06-2011, 10:27 AM

I laugh at the funny joke

stach14 · 07-06-2011, 10:58 AM

Very sweet and funny

michael.kickass · 07-06-2011, 11:26 AM

facialfreak · 07-06-2011, 11:37 AM

A guy comes home to find his wife in the kitchen watching a cooking show on TV ...

"What are you doing?!?" he exclaims, "You can't cook!"

To which she replied, "You watch porn, don't you???"

TondaB · 07-06-2011, 11:40 AM

Good for a little laugh;) Thanks!

NoWhErE · 07-06-2011, 11:56 AM

Thats from a Maxim Magazine back in 2004ish. Well thats where I first saw the joke anyhow

Its an oldie but a goodie.

MrMaxwell · 07-06-2011, 12:23 PM

That's hilarious.. and it's so normal in the states that men are hopelessly tied to frigid horrible women who only please their men 1-10 times per year and they think they're "lucky" when it happens

So so sad

Men need to wake up... if that woman really gives a fuck about you, she'll please you or understand when you have someone else do it

And it is SO true - the women with the most human value think the least of themselves - the most beautiful accomplished aggressive sweet loving talented women I have ever had didn't even know how amazing they were

CurrentlySober · 07-06-2011, 12:29 PM

I actually did LOL...

WarChild · 07-06-2011, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

...the most beautiful accomplished aggressive sweet loving talented women I have ever had didn't even know how amazing they were

Let's be honest. The most accomplished, aggresive and talented women you have ever known were working part-time at McDonalds to pay off their junior college student loans for that hairdressing "degree" that never worked out.

2intense · 07-06-2011, 12:40 PM

HomerSimpson · 07-06-2011, 12:55 PM

yep old one....

martinsc · 07-06-2011, 01:03 PM

JamesChoopa · 07-06-2011, 01:12 PM

It may be old but it's still funny... Thanks!

waltgator · 07-06-2011, 01:17 PM

good one!

MrMaxwell · 07-06-2011, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

Let's be honest. The most accomplished, aggresive and talented women you have ever known were working part-time at McDonalds to pay off their junior college student loans for that hairdressing "degree" that never worked out.

You would be surprised and confused at the high caliber of women I have kept company with.

"She's not out of my league if she's seeing me."

livexxx · 07-06-2011, 05:05 PM

I came home from work and found my wife. thats it, I just found her still here.

gmr324 · 07-07-2011, 05:56 AM

perfect comeback / classic joke

Adwank Pro · 07-07-2011, 06:06 AM

Funny...
i know some girls around here, who can be a millionaire haha but they don't.

John. · 07-07-2011, 06:17 AM

hadnt heard it before, very good

loreen · 07-07-2011, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

she'll please you

She'll please you? It's like women hate fucking and they only do it to please you

Right.
Ask the neighbor

seeandsee · 07-07-2011, 06:34 AM

hehehehehe good joke man

MrMaxwell · 07-07-2011, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen

She'll please you? It's like women hate fucking and they only do it to please you

Right.
Ask the neighbor

Talking about blowjobs. Most women in the states stop doing them for their men and get away with it. You are right though, I have heard many men say that their wives think sex is a FAVOR they're doing for their men. The women I've known always want it all of the time do it to me now now now - I can't imagine being with a frigid bitch who DOESN'T want sex. I always think, well, if a man is good at fucking, he's doing HER the favor.

Elli · 07-07-2011, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

Talking about blowjobs. Most women in the states stop doing them for their men and get away with it. You are right though, I have heard many men say that their wives think sex is a FAVOR they're doing for their men. The women I've known always want it all of the time do it to me now now now - I can't imagine being with a frigid bitch who DOESN'T want sex. I always think, well, if a man is good at fucking, he's doing HER the favor.

If sex is a favour to HIM, then he's doing it wrong.

WarChild · 07-07-2011, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli

If sex is a favour to HIM, then he's doing it wrong.

Reminds me of ancient wisdom passed down from generation to generation:

Father: Son how do you please a woman?
Son: Who cares?
Father: Exactly, son.

TheSquealer · 07-07-2011, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

You would be surprised and confused at the high caliber of women I have kept company with.

"She's not out of my league if she's seeing me."

Doesn't count when they're crying, drunk or wanting a credit card number.

cooldude7 · 07-07-2011, 11:33 AM

i lol'd

anyways , idk about others , but my gf is very cock hungry, as soon as she comes , she tries to suck my cock.....
but then again she only comes 2-4 times a month, she has husband.

mamaliga · 07-07-2011, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by facialfreak

A guy comes home to find his wife in the kitchen watching a cooking show on TV ...

"What are you doing?!?" he exclaims, "You can't cook!"

To which she replied, "You watch porn, don't you???"

JAJAJAJAJAAJAJAJAJAAAAAAA
I spit the coke on the keyboard

Freaky_Akula · 07-07-2011, 01:04 PM

Double trouble · 07-07-2011, 01:51 PM

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli

If sex is a favour to HIM, then he's doing it wrong.

thickcash_amo · 07-07-2011, 02:16 PM

haha that was funny

just a punk · 07-07-2011, 02:30 PM

BTW Whores in Vegas are much cheaper

officemike · 07-07-2011, 02:53 PM

still funny!

07-06-2011, 04:06 AM	#1
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	A guy comes home from work and finds his wife... A guy comes home from work and finds his wife packing her suitcase. He asks her what she is doing. "I'm moving to Vegas, " she says. "Really? Why?" he asks. "I saw on TV that prostitution is legal in Nevada and that girls get $400 just for blowjobs. I figure I might as well get paid for what I give you for free." The guy goes to the closet, grabs his suitcase and starts packing. "What you are doing?" the wife asks. "I'm going with you." "Why?" she wonders. "I want to see how you plan on living on $800 a year." Probably an old joke, but a friend emailed it to me today and it made me laugh.

07-06-2011, 04:09 AM	#2
jigg Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,527	funny __________________ ...... eight,eight,two,eight,eight,four,two ......

07-06-2011, 04:48 AM	#3
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07-06-2011, 04:52 AM	#4
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07-06-2011, 04:57 AM	#5
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	Love it. Bitches always think they are Queens. __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

07-06-2011, 04:59 AM	#6
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07-06-2011, 05:04 AM	#7
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07-06-2011, 06:17 AM	#9
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07-06-2011, 06:24 AM	#10
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07-06-2011, 06:27 AM	#11
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07-06-2011, 09:34 AM	#12
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07-06-2011, 09:40 AM	#13
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07-06-2011, 09:58 AM	#14
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07-06-2011, 10:10 AM	#15
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07-06-2011, 10:17 AM	#16
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07-06-2011, 10:19 AM	#17
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07-06-2011, 10:24 AM	#18
19teenporn Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: En la reverendisima concha de tu madre! Posts: 3,034	Lmao, good one...

07-06-2011, 10:27 AM	#19
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07-06-2011, 10:58 AM	#20
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07-06-2011, 11:26 AM	#21
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07-06-2011, 11:37 AM	#22
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07-06-2011, 11:40 AM	#23
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07-06-2011, 11:56 AM	#24
NoWhErE Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 10,223	Thats from a Maxim Magazine back in 2004ish. Well thats where I first saw the joke anyhow Its an oldie but a goodie. __________________ skype: lordofthecameltoe

07-06-2011, 12:23 PM	#25
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	That's hilarious.. and it's so normal in the states that men are hopelessly tied to frigid horrible women who only please their men 1-10 times per year and they think they're "lucky" when it happens So so sad Men need to wake up... if that woman really gives a fuck about you, she'll please you or understand when you have someone else do it And it is SO true - the women with the most human value think the least of themselves - the most beautiful accomplished aggressive sweet loving talented women I have ever had didn't even know how amazing they were

07-06-2011, 12:29 PM	#26
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07-06-2011, 05:05 PM	#34
livexxx Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: UK Posts: 1,201	I came home from work and found my wife. thats it, I just found her still here.

07-07-2011, 05:56 AM	#35
gmr324 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,199	perfect comeback / classic joke

07-07-2011, 06:06 AM	#36
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07-07-2011, 06:17 AM	#37
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07-07-2011, 06:34 AM	#39
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