Great Article on The Premier of My TV Series.

[Porno Dan]

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The Nocturne: a wild night at Wild Wing with Porno Dan and his Right Hand
Welcome to The Nocturne, a new weekly column about after-hours action in Toronto. In this inaugural edition: we headed to The Right Hand cast party to see what it?s like to hang with stars of the Triple-X variety.
BY: Paul Aguirre-Livingston

11:56 p.m.: It?s a Thursday night on east?so east?Queen Street. In one corner, there?s a big burly guy annoying one of the biggest indie producers of live online adult entertainment in the US: ?You know, buddy, I would never wear a lavender shirt.? At the bar, said producer?s prize star sits on a Joe Shmoe?s lap, brushing away the hair to sign his chest; another one waits next in line. At our table, there are about a dozen shots of celebration vodka. What the hell did I do to end up at a Wild Wing in the Beaches?

Two hours earlier: ?I know it?s weird to communally watch porn together.? I?m at the the cast party and screening for The Movie Network and Movie Central?s new reality series The Right Hand. In the heart of (East) Queen East, at the Fox Theatre, Power Ranger-cum-writer-cum-director Matt Austin-Sadowski is delivering the opening remarks for his latest creation, a show that follows the experiences of aspiring movie biz-er?and small-town Canadian kid?Brandon MacIntosh as he heads to Los Angeles for a chance at his big break. The job? Assisting Dan Leal and his studio Immoral Productions. The thing is, Dan Leal doesn?t do Hollywood; he specializes in straight-up, all real, hardcore porn.

Known in the underworld of the interwebs as Porno Dan, Leal and his crew work hard?literally?to satisfy the masses, producing about a hundred videos a year and daily online web shows with titillating twists (sorry, I had to). In the lobby of the Fox, the city?s second-oldest theatre and basically a cultural institution, we?re talking about the serious business of porn in front of a movie poster for Cars 2 in 3D. Crass, electric and blindingly bleach blonde, Porno Dan looks good in lavender as he talks me through the online content that little PA MacIntosh has a hand in helping create each week. There?s Titterific (to establish who has the best bust), Squirtamania (self-explanatory), Fan Fridays (you can guess what happens). Leal?s charming?almost alarmingly so?and speaks freely about, well, everything and anything. ?We?re not creating art here, we?re creating porn,? he keeps repeating. When he talks about Immoral?s July feature Unplanned Orgies And Spontaneous Gangbangs, nobody flinches or appears shocked?not even creeped out?by him. In fact, we?re all amused.

I, for one, am culture-shocked. Just 48 hours previous, I was feigning interest in someone?s Topshop opening-day score (like, totally). Tonight, the talk is about top tits. (?Real ones get the best score, no matter how small they are,? pontificates Porno Dan about his weekly Titterific competition.) The Right Hand?s co-creator and executive producer Richard Arnold sums Mr. Porno up best: ?You want to hate him, but you can?t help loving him.? I?m inclined to agree. The ladies around me seem exhilarated enough to hear about non-Sex and the City sex, and the guys, outnumbered, are along for the ride. It?s mostly network execs here, and friends of friends. And media? I?m the only brave?or indecent, whatever?one attending. ?You?d be surprised how many people think this is too risqué,? whispers a PR gal. Prudes.

We?re treated to two episodes of the season. The show jumps right into MacIntosh?s first week assisting Porno Dan as the team heads to Las Vegas for the AVN Awards a.k.a. The Porn Oscars. The supporting cast of characters is quirky, and, duh, they?re just like us off-camera. The show is fast-paced, and I-can?t-believe-what-I?m-watching funny, and it?s fleshy. If porn isn?t art, well then it?s certainly not rocket science either. Highlights include this bit at a shooting range with an Osama bin Laden target (so American), and plenty of sound bites worth a thousand Tumblr GIFs from both Porno Dan (?In eyes of the real world, we?re all scum?) and the plucky right hand (?Squirtamania sounds like a lot of clean up for me?).

By far, the most endearing part of the show is the girls, called ?starlets.? I mean, it?s interesting to find out how any performer gets into the biz (?I had this really alcoholic boyfriend, and well, anyways, I needed to fucking pay ren.?) and what happens in between takes (the aforementioned quoted starlet takes a swig of whiskey and chases it with pop, straight from the bottles, one in each hand). There?s also sex, and plenty of nudity, but meh, it?s just that?sex. The show is actually about the relationship between Porno Dan and eager-to-please Brandon, and the industry simply serves its purpose as a setting, a backdrop. Think of it like The Devil Wears Prada: a small-town boy with big city dreams; a crazy, prolific boss with high standards and constant demands; new friends equipped to help the protagonist navigate a new industry. Simply replace Dior with dildos, and replace lessons in Marc Jacobs with lessons in motorboating.

After the screening, I?m introduced to Jackie Daniels, one of the show?s starlets. Charlie Riina, eat your little heart out. Jackie?s a little buzzed, and a lot uncensored, and she?d pretty much be the antithesis of anything I ever thought about the girls who work in adult films (if, you know, I followed straight porn). She?s telling me about her day, about unintentionally pulling a Britney Spears during an interview with the radio jockeys at 102.1 the Edge, and how she was all set to take Toronto down until she left her hotel only to realize she was actually staying in Aurora (where TMN is headquartered). But she?s here now?but really, still not in Toronto?and she?s smiling. She?s in a black floor-length dress, with cutouts along the side. She looks good, like, better-than-some-of-our-fashion-girls good. Outside, over cigarettes and stuff, she explains the four types of girls who work in porn: the stuck-up one that picks and chooses her scenes and, uh, tasks; the one with the boyfriend that doesn?t socialize or kiss the guys; the promiscuous one that will do just about anything with anyone; and the normal girl that just does it to have fun and likes sex, like Jackie herself. In short: if she lived in Toronto, you?d probably be best friends with her, porn or not.

And then, as Porno Dan heckles the poor theatre staff (doubling as event staff) to give him a shot of something and packs of sugar as a salt substitute, I get to talk to Brandon MacIntosh, the kid this project?and gathering?is supposed to revolve around. He?s from Ayr, Ontario (wherever that is), and he studied film at Sheridan College in Oakville before getting involved in the series. After meeting him, I?m surprised by how likeable he is onscreen?not to say that he isn?t likeable in person, he?s just? different. There?s a tinge of Michael Cera to him. After his L.A. experiences with Porno Dan, he?s back on home turf and living up in North York somewhere, working with his best buds (also at the party, unsure what to do with themselves) on a YouTube series and developing a spoof about a paranormal-detective team. His lovely girlfriend is with him too, and, if we were watching the same show, I would have expected her to be less good wife-y and more intoxicated. When he tells me he?s also assisting again on productions in Toronto, I ask about the adjustment from porn to PG. ?It?s basically the same, just with clothes on.? And he keeps his porn gig a secret from new co-workers because, like me, they?ll ask a dozen dumb questions.

When I?m done inside, there?s talk about ?getting the party started.? But where is Porno Dan? ?They wouldn?t serve him anymore, so he?s down the street at Wild Wing. Commeeeee,? urges one of his handlers. I go for her and for Jackie Daniels. But really, who doesn?t want to know what a Thursday night at Wild Wing on Queen East looks like? Those poor Torontonians have no idea what hit them, all boobs and brass. When I walk in, the porn party has literally set up a monarchy. Ms. Daniels is pacing the place, stopping off at each table and seat along the bar like it?s her royal visit, acknowledging her new, instant fans. Porno Dan is making fast friends with the bartender and begins serving beer and pouring drinks and generally pissing people off. That is, until he toasts Canada and director Austin-Sadowski, and starts talking shop with interested patrons. They?re all older men who probably don?t want to be at home, and have that ?What just happened here/Who the fuck are these people in our little bar?? look on their faces. More drinks, more yelling, more toasts.

12:01 a.m.: After Porno Dan and I somehow reenact a scene straight out of In & Out (yes, really), I decide?and pretty much everyone else in here does, too?that the night is complete. I bet our little group would have just killed at the Wild Wing on King West, though. Oh well, at least we gave the Queen East outlet a show. Isn?t that what porn is really all about anyway?