The top things people most regret before they die....

[sperbonzo]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...s-of-the-dying


The top five regrets of the dying
A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."




.

[bronco67]

That #1 hits me hard, bro.

[CHMOD]

Very interresting!!

Allthough I am only 40, these are questions that I am asking myself very often:

1-Am I living the way I wanto to ?
2-Will I regret something when I'll be near my death ?

[PR_Glen]

definitely a generational thing, those 5 things will change by the time most of us are that age. At least it will for me. I have worked hard at keeping the balance with all those things over the years.

[CaptainHowdy]

I'm sure that I'll regret ever being alive ...

[sperbonzo]

Point #5 I think is the most important. Even if you follow the others points, if you don't allow them to make you happy, it's pointless. When I was a kid, I read a quote by Abraham Lincoln: "People Are About as Happy as They Make Up Their Minds To Be."

It made a deep impression on me, and ever since, I've found the ability to be happy, (and silly), and notice the beauty of the moment, under almost every circumstance.



.

[Jman]

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

Point #5 I think is the most important. Even if you follow the others points, if you don't allow them to make you happy, it's pointless. When I was a kid, I read a quote by Abraham Lincoln: "People Are About as Happy as They Make Up Their Minds To Be."

It made a deep impression on me, and ever since, I've found the ability to be happy, (and silly), and notice the beauty of the moment, under almost every circumstance.



.

So true, thanks for sharing. At 42 this and getting much more healthy is what I am prioritizing for myself.

[czarina]

#2 strikes a chord.
But for the last weeks I've dedicated myself more to my son and much less to working. So I'm on the right track

[ilnjscb]

I read that article, and in in she mentions spending time with family as well

[u-Bob]

Regarding #2: Having worked hard is nothing to regret. I (like to think that I) work hard. I love what I do. I work to make money. Money I use to accomplish some of my goals. Do I feel bad that I work to make money? Hell no. I do business with other people on a voluntary basis. I've never put a gun to a person's head and forced him to pay me. Instead I produce products and deliver services other people value and are willing to pay for. My clients are able to buy those products and services because I offer those things for sale. If I didn't do that, my clients wouldn't be able to buy those products and services. So, by working hard and making money, I'm helping my fellow man.

[SmutHammer]

Wow, This really makes you think.

[magicmike]

Watching undercover boss, a lot of the CEO's and bosses say something similar to number 2, how they regret not spending enough time with the family because they worked so hard in their careers.

And thats when they are still alive and working, I bet that regret gets larger as they near death.

[bronco67]

I don't think #2 is that bad if you love what you do. If I didn't make money with my art, I'd still get out of bed to do it.

And the idea of accomplishing future ideas is what keep me going. I doubt I'll regret that when I die.

[MarkDeus]

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the greatest lesson I have ever learned.

The second one would be:
A man learns from his mistakes.
An exceptional man learns from the mistakes of others.

[Shotsie]

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

Point #5 I think is the most important. Even if you follow the others points, if you don't allow them to make you happy, it's pointless. When I was a kid, I read a quote by Abraham Lincoln: "People Are About as Happy as They Make Up Their Minds To Be."

That's odd considering Lincoln was clinically depressed for most of his life. I guess he couldn't make up his mind to be more happy...

[Spunky]

#2,I busted my ass for the man for over 35 years,I wish I had a job that I loved

[sperbonzo]

Originally Posted by Shotsie

That's odd considering Lincoln was clinically depressed for most of his life. I guess he couldn't make up his mind to be more happy...

Apparently not. Certainly not later in his life. Then again, I guess it can be tough when one son dies at 4 years old and the other at 11. Those are pretty good reasons to be sad, although I'm not sure that anyone was around to diagnose actual "clinical" depression.



.

[ElleSorbet]

I can definitely see where I'd be on par with some of these - sad

[porno jew]

Originally Posted by bronco67

I don't think #2 is that bad if you love what you do. If I didn't make money with my art, I'd still get out of bed to do it.

And the idea of accomplishing future ideas is what keep me going. I doubt I'll regret that when I die.

slaving all the time and not enjoying the simple and beautiful things of life you most certainly regret on your death bed.

you will not regret that you didn't toil for more money. you will regret not using that time to take a walk and enjoy the sun, the air, the trees and the mystery and magnificence of life.

any of the work you "enjoy" is pathetic in comparison to these things.

[martinsc]

I guess it's time to change things a bit.......... I don't want to regret......

[Shotsie]

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

Apparently not. Certainly not later in his life. Then again, I guess it can be tough when one son dies at 4 years old and the other at 11. Those are pretty good reasons to be sad, although I'm not sure that anyone was around to diagnose actual "clinical" depression.



.

What do you mean apparently not? It's pretty well documented in his own words, as well as by almost everyone who knew him.

[sperbonzo]

Originally Posted by Shotsie

What do you mean apparently not? It's pretty well documented in his own words, as well as by almost everyone who knew him.

I was being dry....




.

[porno jew]

my favorite Lincoln quote is "turn that frown upside down."

[Barry-xlovecam]

Well, I can take comfort -- I will die with few regrets ...

My only regret will be I did not act more often on my premonitions.

[sperbonzo]

Originally Posted by Barry-xlovecam

Well, I can take comfort -- I will die with few regrets ...

My only regret will be I did not act more often on my premonitions.

I had a feeling you were going to say that!!



.