Emails from an asshole

[LightscapeMedia]

This will have you giggling like a little girl. Guy fucks with people on Craig's List

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

[kazymjir]

Haha, I laugh so much, thanks for this link.

I know something similar, check this out: http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

[Pink Misfit]

Some of those are pretty funny. My favorite one is about the parrot. He hasn't updated it much lately though.

[Theo]

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=62

Thats a good one

[Grapesoda]

Originally Posted by kazymjir

Haha, I laugh so much, thanks for this link.

I know something similar, check this out: http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

http://www.27bslash6.com/bob.html

[LightscapeMedia]

Originally Posted by AVN Theo

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=62

Thats a good one

I read that one and was shaking my head. What kind of mother considers letting some random dude off Craig's List pick up her daughter. And never a mention of running a background check..

[lazycash]

Childhood Classics
Posted at: 2011-07-12 06:54:03 | 518 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Wanted - CHILDRENS DVDS
Movies wanted for children aged 5 and up - will take all unwanted DVDs!
From Me to *********@**********.org:

Hey there!

I'm trying to get rid of a bunch of movies I've had since I was a kid. The movie stores won't take them, and it would be a shame for me to just throw them out. I'd love to pass them on to people who can enjoy them. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike - Which movies do you have and how much do you want for them?

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Here is the full list:

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alladin
Backdoor Creampies 2
Beauty and the Beast
Big Black Threesome
Fantasia
Finally 18 and Legal
The Lion King
Mattress Slaves 3
The Mighty Ducks
Toy Story
Wet Squirters 5

Please let me know which ones you want.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Mike...some of those titles are inappropriate.

From Me to Julia ******:

Julia,

Which titles are inappropriate?

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

I think you know which ones...

From Me to Julia ******:

Are you talking about Fantasia? I know, I thought it was a Vietnam war movie too. I assure you it has nothing to do with Asia and is completely appropriate for children. The only other title I think you are referring to as inappropriate is The Lion King, but I think you are confusing that with "The Scorpion King," the violent movie starring Dwayne Johnson. While the Lion King does have adult themes, it is nothing like The Scorpion King.

I hope this clears things up.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

No...explain to me how these movies are for children??? Backdoor Creampies, Big Black Threesome, Finally 18 and Legal, Mattress Slaves 3, Wet Squirters 5. It sounds to me like you are trying to throw out your porn collection.

From Me to Julia ******:

Pornography? What a disgusting accusation! What kind of a person do you think I am? You have a really perverted mind if you think those movies are adult films.

You've really never heard of those movies? Where was your childhood? I'll find the plot summaries for you.

Backdoor Creampies - Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parents kitchen - selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn't all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.

Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.

Finally 18 and Legal - A coming of age story about a young girl who becomes an independent woman.

Mattress Slaves 3 - Part 3 of the shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues. I never bought a foreign mattress again after this eye-opener.)

Wet Squirters 5 - The Squirters gang is back again in this heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.

Once again, I hope this clears things up for you.

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

You expect me to believe that all of those movies simply have unfortunate titles? Nice try.

From Me to Julia ******:

Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children's movies. So do you want them or not?

By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:

Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Okay I've had enough of this. You are a nut.

From Me to Julia ******:

Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.

From Julia ****** to Me:

Go to hell.

[atalkingapple]

Originally Posted by kazymjir

Haha, I laugh so much, thanks for this link.

I know something similar, check this out: http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

Lol. I laughed so hard Thanks

[Fenris Wolf]

Thanks for the laughs.

[atalkingapple]

This one is pretty funny http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=92

[AllAboutCams]

the jeep one is funny

[atalkingapple]

Original ad:
i want a flatscreen tv. at least 40 inches and under $500. hit me up if you got what i want
From Me to ***********@**********.org:

Hey,

I am selling my 42" Westinghouse plasma TV for $400. It is in excellent condition. I'm just selling it because I got a bigger one and don't need this one anymore. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

yeah man thats perfect. ill buy that as soon as possible. would you be able to bring it to my house? i dont have a car. im home pretty much all day every day

you can call me if you want 610-***-****

From me to jim ******:

No problem, Jim. I could bring it by tomorrow after work. Are you sure you want to buy it though? I don't want to bring it there and have you decide you don't want to buy it.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

no i definitely want it. just bring it over man

my address is 415 ********* rd, ******, PA
just call me if you have any trouble

From me to jim ******:

Okay, I'll be over tomorrow.

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

I'm very sorry I was unable to make it to your house today. I had the TV loaded in the back of my pickup truck, and I was all set to go to your house. I just decided to make a quick stop in Chester to buy some stuff from a friend, and when I got back to my truck, the TV was gone. I can't figure out what the hell happened to it. I'm thinking maybe I hit a bump and it slid out of the truck, because I do forget to close my tailgate sometimes. I don't really remember if it was in the truck when I parked it, so I am baffled.

Anyway, this is totally my fault. Seeing as how I promised you a TV and lost it, I am going to help you out. I signed you up for a 2 year subscription to Plasma TV Enthusiasts Weekly. It is an excellent magazine that will give you a lot of information on plasma TVs to help you make the right decision when buying one. It is normally $84.99 a year, but I hooked you up with my referrer discount so it will only cost you $63.50 a year. I had it sent and billed to the address you gave me, and you should get your first one in a week or two.

Once again, I am very sorry that I lost the TV that I was going to sell you, but hopefully this magazine can help you out.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

are you out of your fuckin mind i dont want any fuckin magazines!!! what the fuck.. you better fuckin cancel that shit. what the fuck were you thinking dude, im not paying for that you fuckin dumbass

From jim ****** to Me:

and its obvious YOUR TV WAS STOLEN YOU FUCKIN RETARD. why the FUCK would you leave a tv in the back of your truck in chester?

cancel the fuckin magazines..NOW.

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

Why do you want me to cancel the magazines? It is a great magazine and I got you a great deal for it. You won't find it cheaper anywhere else. Also, to put it frankly, if you were going to buy a Westinghouse plasma TV from me without even looking at it, then it is clear you still have a lot to learn about plasma TVs. Reading this magazine will make you an expert in no time.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

you fuckin asshole i dont want to pay for some stupid magazine! i just want a goddamn tv. who the fuck would want to read a fuckin weekly magazine about tvs?! cancel it right now. im serious

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

I'm sorry you feel that way about the magazine. I was just trying to help. Unfortunately I cannot cancel the magazine. When I signed you up on the phone, they gave me a confirmation number I could use to cancel the subscription. I couldn't find a piece of paper to write it on, so I wrote the number on a napkin. I think I accidentally used the napkin to wipe my face after eating wings last night, and then threw it out. I'd look through the trash to find it for you, but the garbage truck already picked it up this morning. I think they take it to the dump/recycling center in Media if you want to go look for it. It was a napkin from Taco Bell, if that helps. I usually get all my napkins there.

If you think it would be easier, you could just cancel it once you get your first magazine in the mail. You'll probably be billed for the first month, plus a $75 cancellation fee because I didn't sign you up for cancellation insurance. I just assumed you would want to keep the magazine.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

i cant believe i just read all that shit because i should have known from the first few lines that you were a fuckin idiot

i dont care if you have to blow the fuckin editor, you better find a way to get it cancelled because i am not spending a goddamn nickel on that magazine!

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

If you don't pay for it, that may screw up your credit. I remember one time I forgot to pay my TV guide subscription for about 14 months, and that really messed up my credit. I had trouble buying a house because of that. You should be careful.

Since you seem to not know a lot about the importance of your credit, I signed you up for a year subscription of In Debt Weekly, a great magazine that can teach you a lot about credit. Don't worry, I got you the same discount as before, and this magazine is actually a little bit cheaper. It is only $34.99 a year. It came with a discounted subscription to Card Times, another magazine about credit cards. That one is only $25 per year, so I signed you up for that as well. It is a decent magazine for the price.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

GL4KJHSGSKFKJS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE STOP SIGNING ME UP FOR FUCKING MAGAZINES!!!!

CANCEL THOSE RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

There is no need for that kind of language. Please do not talk to me anymore.

Unless you would be interested in a subscription to Anger Management Journal. I can sign you up for that if you want to learn how to control your temper.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

FUCK YOU

[martinsc]

[Mr Pheer]

That has got to be Boneprone fucking with people.

[AllAboutCams]

Ride to Bonnaroo
Posted at: 2009-06-09 18:59:24
Original ad:
i need a ride from philly to bonnaroo in manchester, TN! i will throw up some cash for gas. i dont have that much stuff either. i am a down ass chick and will be fun to ride with!
From Mike Anderson to ************@***********.org

Hey! I'm taking my truck down to Bonnaroo and should have an extra seat. I'm planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon. Does this work for you?

From Katie ******* to Me

yes that is fine! thank you! where do you live? i can meet you somewhere if it is easier for you.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

I live in West Philadelphia, born and raised. I can meet you anywhere you want. So far it is me, you, my friend Josh and his friends Steve and Rob. It should be a fun ride!

From Katie ******* to Me

great! how big is your truck? i may have a lot of stuff.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people. You will probably have to sit on Steve's lap. He's fat though, so it will be somewhat comfortable to sit on. Are you attractive? My only concern is that Steve may get turned on when you are sitting on his lap. If this is an issue, you can sit on Josh's lap because he is gay. The only problem with that is that if you are fat, you may crush him because he is a small dude. But if you are fat you can probably just sit on Steve's lap without him getting aroused.

From Katie ******* to Me

what?! how the hell are you going to fit 5 people in a miata? that isnt a truck! i dont want to sit on anyones lap.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

Oh, I get it. You are one of those Ford fanboys that likes to hate on Miatas. That's okay, I'm not too adamant about Mazdas. If you don't want to sit on Steve or Josh's lap, you can sit on mine, since I have a girlfriend and won't try anything. You will have to drive since my legs will be stuck, though. That's probably better, anyway, since my license is revoked until 2012, and I have a few warrants. Do you know how to drive stick? If you don't, I can teach you. You can pick it up in like five minutes.

From Katie ******* to Me

no im not driving are you fucking kidding me? this sounds like a horrible ride. ill find another ride thanks but no thanks. i still dont get how you are going to cram 4 dudes into a miata.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

Do you have a car? You can just follow us down there in your car if you want more room. I take the long way, however, since if I get pulled over in Kentucky or Virginia I will probably go to jail. We are going around, through Missouri. Missouri is really nice though!

From Katie ******* to Me

IF I HAD A CAR I WOULDNT NEED A FUCKING RIDE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS IM DONE TALKING TO YOU

[CurrentlySober]

Originally Posted by LightscapeMedia

This will have you giggling like a little girl. Guy fucks with people on Craig's List

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

Good read. I read it about a year ago, and forgot about it...

After you reminded me, I took another look and found lots of new stuff !

Thanks

[fitzmulti]

So far, this has me laughing my ass off...kinda need that today, too! ;-)

[candyflip]

Those are very well written. Fake, but still nicely developed little stories.

[Pink Misfit]

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=59

[fuzebox]

Rest of my day is done.

[Deej]

lols - ill have to check that out more later.

[Site Collector]

this had me rolling, it took him quite a while to realize he was being fucked with. fake or not still funny.

[nakeddutch]

[garce]

That was me. Sorry...

[digitalfantasies]

hahahaha good stuff... my kind of humor

[livexxx]

fuck, i did a lol for real

[X_X_ROB_X_X]

I love that site. Wish he updated it more often though.

[CyberHustler]

[seeandsee]

Original ad:
looking for a jeep comanche. must be running and in good condition. can pay up to $500. offers for other trucks will be ignored.

From Mike Partlow to *********@*********.org:

Hey, I couldn't help but notice your ad looking for a Comanche. I don't have one, but seeing as it is such a rare car I figured I'd help you out and put you in touch with a friend of mine who is selling his. Would you like his contact information?

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

yeah that would be great thanks

From Mike Partlow to Joel *******:

Okay, it is ***********@gmail.com. Just tell him Mike sent ya.

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

ok thanks


From Joel ******* to Leo D:

hey there your friend mike told me that you were interested in selling your jeep comanche?

From Leo D to Joel *******:

Ugh...freaking Mike. I'm sorry. Mike is an idiot. I told him that I knew a guy selling a Comanche. I'm not selling one. If you want I can have that guy contact you. I'll give his email address: *******@yahoo.com

Sorry about that.

Leo

From Joel ******* to Leo D:

okay...



From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

hey your friend leo told me you were selling a comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, Leo! I haven't talked to him in forever! How's he doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

i dunno. i just met him online

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Do me a favor, will ya? Tell Leo that Chris asked how he's doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

What did Leo say?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

he said he is good

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Great! Anyway, I'm not selling the Comanche, my brother is. Can I give him your email address so he can get in touch with you? His name is Randy.

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

oh god dammit. fine give him my email

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Will do!

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hey, I just talked to Leo. He said you didn't tell him I asked how he was doing! Why did you lie to me?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

look i dont give a FUCK man i just want to buy a fuckin comanche and you keep dicking me around. who gives a fuck how hes doing if you were talking to him then why the fuck didnt you just fucking ask him? for christ's sake just fucking put me through to the guy selling the comanche already

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Calm down, son. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I just got off the phone with Randy and he is going to email you shortly.



From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hello! Is this Joe?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no my name is joel

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Oh, my mistake. I must have misheard Chris. I couldn't really hear him over the phone. He is using one of those new "smart phones" but personally I think they sound terrible. You won't find me using one of those, no sir. My good-ol-fashioned land line phone will do me just fine. Everyone always tells me I sound very clear on my phone, they ask me "Randy, how do you sound so crisp and clear on your phone?" and I tell them "I'm using a land line! If you want to sound clear, take your cell phone and throw it in the trash!" This new technology is a load of garbage if you ask me. You don't use a cell phone, do ya Joe? I wouldn't if I were you. Anyway, I just got off the phone with Chris. He tells me you are interested in buying my Jeep Cherokee?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no a jeep COMANCHE. please tell me you have a comanche not a fuckign cherokee

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, the Jeep Comanche! A fine vehicle. Mine was a 1994, had a lot of good times in that truck. Once I drove that truck all the way to Newark! Couldn't believe it made it, but that truck was one tough son-of-a-bitch. It was a long trip but I just popped in my Johnny Cash cassette tapes and I was set for the whole ride. Do you listen to Johnny Cash? Great man, he was. Anyway, the Comanche. I was selling that, yes. Unfortunately, I sold it to a guy about a month ago. Real nice guy who bought it, I'm trying to remember his name. I remember thinking it was Mike but it wasn't Mike. It was something foreign...I'm leaning towards "Mikel."

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

i dont give a fuck what his name is asshole. what the FUCK you fucking idiots just wasted my fucking time for nothing

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Boy, Chris was right when he said you were an angry lad. Relax, I've got some good news for you. Mikel loved the Comanche, but he has to move far away and is unable to take the truck with him. Therefore he is trying to sell the truck. He tried to sell it back to me for 500 bucks, but I told him "Mikel, why in the hell would I need the Comanche? I just bought a new F150!" You should see my F150, it is really nice. Perfect for hauling my ATVs to Chris's house. Chris has a lot of property up in Hagerstown and we love to go offroading there with his pal Leo. Leo sure is a crazy son-of-a-bitch! Speaking of Leo, what's this I hear about you lying to Chris about asking Leo how he's doing? Why would you do that?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

ENOUGH WITH THE RANTS JUST SHUT UP!!!!! HOLY SHIT WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!? I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF YOUR SHIT ASS STORIES JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING GUY WHO IS SELLING THE COMANCHE!!! GOT THAT? NOT HIS SON, NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER, JUST THE GUY WITH THE TRUCK. QUIT WASTING MY FUCKING TIME

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Jeez, you sure are an angry fella! Don't like to talk much, do ya? I understand you're just trying to buy a truck. You're all business, I respect that. You're going to want to email Mikel. I am confident he is still trying to sell the truck. You'll love it, its a real beaut. Mikel's email address is ***********@hotmail.com



From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

hey some jackass named randy told me he sold you a jeep comanche and you are looking to sell it?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Olen segaduses. Mida sa sellega öelda tahad? Kas te räägite eesti keeles?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

fucking hell...ENGLISH? do you speak english?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

American, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yes philadelphia are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes! Car sale, me to you sales of vehicle, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yeah do you have pictures/information?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes photographs!



Its nice cars, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

THATS NOT A FUCKING JEEP COMANCHE RETARD

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh you buys Jeep from me, yes? Comanche strongs truck! Loud! Vrrrrrrrr! Ha ha ha.

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

ha fucking ha. send me a picture of the fucking jeep

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:



From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

YES that is what i want. how much are you selling it for?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

I sells for 5800 Kroons, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

what the fuck is a kroon? how much in AMERICAN MONEY?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh no, no Americans Dollars in here Estonia. Onlys kroon. Yous comes to Estonia to buy?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

the jeep is in fucking estonia are you shitting me? i dont even know where the fuck that is

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes, Estonia. Yous comes buy, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

NO! FUCK ESTONIA AND FUCK YOU!!! GODDAMMIT WHAT A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME


//////////////
i shat my pants with this one :D

[maxjohan]

Originally Posted by AVN Theo

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=62

Thats a good one

lmao

[maxjohan]

Originally Posted by seeandsee

Original ad:
looking for a jeep comanche. must be running and in good condition. can pay up to $500. offers for other trucks will be ignored.

From Mike Partlow to *********@*********.org:

Hey, I couldn't help but notice your ad looking for a Comanche. I don't have one, but seeing as it is such a rare car I figured I'd help you out and put you in touch with a friend of mine who is selling his. Would you like his contact information?

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

yeah that would be great thanks

From Mike Partlow to Joel *******:

Okay, it is ***********@gmail.com. Just tell him Mike sent ya.

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

ok thanks


From Joel ******* to Leo D:

hey there your friend mike told me that you were interested in selling your jeep comanche?

From Leo D to Joel *******:

Ugh...freaking Mike. I'm sorry. Mike is an idiot. I told him that I knew a guy selling a Comanche. I'm not selling one. If you want I can have that guy contact you. I'll give his email address: *******@yahoo.com

Sorry about that.

Leo

From Joel ******* to Leo D:

okay...



From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

hey your friend leo told me you were selling a comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, Leo! I haven't talked to him in forever! How's he doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

i dunno. i just met him online

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Do me a favor, will ya? Tell Leo that Chris asked how he's doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

What did Leo say?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

he said he is good

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Great! Anyway, I'm not selling the Comanche, my brother is. Can I give him your email address so he can get in touch with you? His name is Randy.

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

oh god dammit. fine give him my email

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Will do!

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hey, I just talked to Leo. He said you didn't tell him I asked how he was doing! Why did you lie to me?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

look i dont give a FUCK man i just want to buy a fuckin comanche and you keep dicking me around. who gives a fuck how hes doing if you were talking to him then why the fuck didnt you just fucking ask him? for christ's sake just fucking put me through to the guy selling the comanche already

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Calm down, son. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I just got off the phone with Randy and he is going to email you shortly.



From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hello! Is this Joe?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no my name is joel

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Oh, my mistake. I must have misheard Chris. I couldn't really hear him over the phone. He is using one of those new "smart phones" but personally I think they sound terrible. You won't find me using one of those, no sir. My good-ol-fashioned land line phone will do me just fine. Everyone always tells me I sound very clear on my phone, they ask me "Randy, how do you sound so crisp and clear on your phone?" and I tell them "I'm using a land line! If you want to sound clear, take your cell phone and throw it in the trash!" This new technology is a load of garbage if you ask me. You don't use a cell phone, do ya Joe? I wouldn't if I were you. Anyway, I just got off the phone with Chris. He tells me you are interested in buying my Jeep Cherokee?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no a jeep COMANCHE. please tell me you have a comanche not a fuckign cherokee

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, the Jeep Comanche! A fine vehicle. Mine was a 1994, had a lot of good times in that truck. Once I drove that truck all the way to Newark! Couldn't believe it made it, but that truck was one tough son-of-a-bitch. It was a long trip but I just popped in my Johnny Cash cassette tapes and I was set for the whole ride. Do you listen to Johnny Cash? Great man, he was. Anyway, the Comanche. I was selling that, yes. Unfortunately, I sold it to a guy about a month ago. Real nice guy who bought it, I'm trying to remember his name. I remember thinking it was Mike but it wasn't Mike. It was something foreign...I'm leaning towards "Mikel."

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

i dont give a fuck what his name is asshole. what the FUCK you fucking idiots just wasted my fucking time for nothing

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Boy, Chris was right when he said you were an angry lad. Relax, I've got some good news for you. Mikel loved the Comanche, but he has to move far away and is unable to take the truck with him. Therefore he is trying to sell the truck. He tried to sell it back to me for 500 bucks, but I told him "Mikel, why in the hell would I need the Comanche? I just bought a new F150!" You should see my F150, it is really nice. Perfect for hauling my ATVs to Chris's house. Chris has a lot of property up in Hagerstown and we love to go offroading there with his pal Leo. Leo sure is a crazy son-of-a-bitch! Speaking of Leo, what's this I hear about you lying to Chris about asking Leo how he's doing? Why would you do that?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

ENOUGH WITH THE RANTS JUST SHUT UP!!!!! HOLY SHIT WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!? I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF YOUR SHIT ASS STORIES JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING GUY WHO IS SELLING THE COMANCHE!!! GOT THAT? NOT HIS SON, NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER, JUST THE GUY WITH THE TRUCK. QUIT WASTING MY FUCKING TIME

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Jeez, you sure are an angry fella! Don't like to talk much, do ya? I understand you're just trying to buy a truck. You're all business, I respect that. You're going to want to email Mikel. I am confident he is still trying to sell the truck. You'll love it, its a real beaut. Mikel's email address is ***********@hotmail.com



From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

hey some jackass named randy told me he sold you a jeep comanche and you are looking to sell it?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Olen segaduses. Mida sa sellega öelda tahad? Kas te räägite eesti keeles?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

fucking hell...ENGLISH? do you speak english?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

American, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yes philadelphia are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes! Car sale, me to you sales of vehicle, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yeah do you have pictures/information?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes photographs!



Its nice cars, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

THATS NOT A FUCKING JEEP COMANCHE RETARD

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh you buys Jeep from me, yes? Comanche strongs truck! Loud! Vrrrrrrrr! Ha ha ha.

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

ha fucking ha. send me a picture of the fucking jeep

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:



From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

YES that is what i want. how much are you selling it for?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

I sells for 5800 Kroons, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

what the fuck is a kroon? how much in AMERICAN MONEY?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh no, no Americans Dollars in here Estonia. Onlys kroon. Yous comes to Estonia to buy?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

the jeep is in fucking estonia are you shitting me? i dont even know where the fuck that is

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes, Estonia. Yous comes buy, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

NO! FUCK ESTONIA AND FUCK YOU!!! GODDAMMIT WHAT A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME


//////////////
i shat my pants with this one :D

omfg. That was funny as hell.

[calvinawe]

ahh this site.. long time favorite

[davethedope]

none of these are funny- it's like having to read the prank calls of someone who sucks at prank calls.

tldr;

[JamesChoopa]

Awesome! I've been reading these for a while now. I wish he'd update more often!

[LightscapeMedia]

Originally Posted by davethedope

none of these are funny- it's like having to read the prank calls of someone who sucks at prank calls.

tldr;

Oh.. Thanks for setting me straight.