I controlled my bowel movement... one split second could've changed everything... - GoFuckYourself.com

Far-L · 06-05-2015, 01:05 PM

So I was hanging out and called to see if my Mother in Law needed me to do any chores around the house, perhaps some yard work or maybe some mopping, she knows I love to mop her floors until they shine like a bride's wedding ring, and you could even eat off them. Not that you would want to do that but just saying like if you dropped a good bite of steak and you didn't want to pass it up then you would feel ok about picking it up and eating it, you know, as long as no one was looking. Anyway, she tells me she needs me to come right away to put a new light bulb in her fridge. She was super concerned that she wouldn't be able to see what was in there and food would end up going bad, you know how that goes. Anyway, I was like hey I need to go to the bathroom right now but I didn't want to say that and i didn't want her to think I didn't care about the light and her food and everything so I was like wtf I will just go there and fix that light bulb right away and maybe if i have to I could use her bathroom even though I don't like using any bathroom at all except my own but ok I would take the chance.

So I get there and she is wondering what took me so long and I told her about the traffic and while I was putting in the bulb my stomach just started churning and I realized I really had to go and I didn't know if I would get that bulb all the way screwed in and make it to the bathroom but I did and I went in and made a bowel movement and I flushed it really fast so it wouldn't stink up her bathroom. Any way I lit a match and sprayed some lavender citrus scented spray washed my hands and got out pretty quick. Lucky for me that I did too because then I had to go pull some weeds that had grown up fairly quickly, you know, dandelions do that.

ilnjscb · 06-05-2015, 01:10 PM

LOL!!!

brassmonkey · 06-05-2015, 01:14 PM

stop eating spoiled food

Far-L · 06-05-2015, 01:27 PM

I wasn't trying to be a hero or anything. I was just trying to help my Mother-in-Law and if that makes me a patriot and a fighter for freedom, justice, and the American Way then that is just the way it is. I am going to go eat some apple pie. My Mother-in-Law doesn't actually bake it but you couldn't even tell with those pies I get at the Piggly Wiggly.

2MuchMark · 06-05-2015, 01:43 PM

HappyTugger · 06-05-2015, 01:50 PM

You are a good son!

CurrentlySober · 06-05-2015, 02:09 PM

i like bowel movements...

CDSmith · 06-05-2015, 02:29 PM

Flush twice, it's a long way to the NYRangers dressing room.

C H R I S · 06-05-2015, 02:50 PM

comtrolled

Fixed that for you....

ilnjscb · 06-05-2015, 03:35 PM

If the protagonist of this story were CurrentlySober, it all would have come out so differently

amacontent · 06-05-2015, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdsmith

flush twice, it's a long way to the nyrangers dressing room.

dam you !

LeRoy · 06-05-2015, 03:52 PM

It all starts with a good shit!!

Far-L · 06-05-2015, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

Flush twice, it's a long way to the NYRangers dressing room.

lolololol

Yeah but shit rolls downhill and a season that ends like that must be a serious downer...

I do feel for amacontent joe though... motorcycle accident, sites not selling like they used to, Rangers losing before getting to Cup round...

Wait... that's what he gets for being a Rangers fan in the first place.

sandman! · 06-05-2015, 08:39 PM

Penny24Seven · 06-05-2015, 09:08 PM

classic GFY thread. I miss these. Great job haha

Relentless · 06-05-2015, 10:15 PM

Brilliant

Spunky · 06-05-2015, 10:27 PM

Everybody needs to start out after a good shit

06-05-2015, 01:05 PM	#1
Far-L Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,065	I controlled my bowel movement... one split second could've changed everything... So I was hanging out and called to see if my Mother in Law needed me to do any chores around the house, perhaps some yard work or maybe some mopping, she knows I love to mop her floors until they shine like a bride's wedding ring, and you could even eat off them. Not that you would want to do that but just saying like if you dropped a good bite of steak and you didn't want to pass it up then you would feel ok about picking it up and eating it, you know, as long as no one was looking. Anyway, she tells me she needs me to come right away to put a new light bulb in her fridge. She was super concerned that she wouldn't be able to see what was in there and food would end up going bad, you know how that goes. Anyway, I was like hey I need to go to the bathroom right now but I didn't want to say that and i didn't want her to think I didn't care about the light and her food and everything so I was like wtf I will just go there and fix that light bulb right away and maybe if i have to I could use her bathroom even though I don't like using any bathroom at all except my own but ok I would take the chance. So I get there and she is wondering what took me so long and I told her about the traffic and while I was putting in the bulb my stomach just started churning and I realized I really had to go and I didn't know if I would get that bulb all the way screwed in and make it to the bathroom but I did and I went in and made a bowel movement and I flushed it really fast so it wouldn't stink up her bathroom. Any way I lit a match and sprayed some lavender citrus scented spray washed my hands and got out pretty quick. Lucky for me that I did too because then I had to go pull some weeds that had grown up fairly quickly, you know, dandelions do that. __________________ HomegrownCash.com, the affiliate program of Homegrown Video - The Largest Collection of Amateur XXX - Est. 1982. Contact - Email: farrell AT homegrownvideo D com Skype: hgfarl Newsweek Magazine - "Homegrown Video, the longest running series in the history of porn."

06-05-2015, 01:14 PM	#3
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,003	stop eating spoiled food __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

06-05-2015, 01:27 PM	#4
Far-L Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,065	I wasn't trying to be a hero or anything. I was just trying to help my Mother-in-Law and if that makes me a patriot and a fighter for freedom, justice, and the American Way then that is just the way it is. I am going to go eat some apple pie. My Mother-in-Law doesn't actually bake it but you couldn't even tell with those pies I get at the Piggly Wiggly. __________________ HomegrownCash.com, the affiliate program of Homegrown Video - The Largest Collection of Amateur XXX - Est. 1982. Contact - Email: farrell AT homegrownvideo D com Skype: hgfarl Newsweek Magazine - "Homegrown Video, the longest running series in the history of porn."

06-05-2015, 01:43 PM	#5
2MuchMark Videochat Solutions Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 48,634	__________________ Custom Software \| Server Management \| Integration and Technology Solutions https://www.2much.net

06-05-2015, 02:09 PM	#7
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,534	i like bowel movements... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

06-05-2015, 01:10 PM	#2
ilnjscb Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8,800	LOL!!!

06-05-2015, 01:50 PM	#6
HappyTugger Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: GFY Posts: 58	You are a good son!

06-05-2015, 02:29 PM	#8
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Flush twice, it's a long way to the NYRangers dressing room. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-05-2015, 02:50 PM	#9
C H R I S Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Marina Del Rey Posts: 10,842	comtrolled Fixed that for you.... __________________ C H R I S Retired Porn Veteran BH4L

06-05-2015, 03:35 PM	#10
ilnjscb Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8,800	If the protagonist of this story were CurrentlySober, it all would have come out so differently

06-05-2015, 03:52 PM	#12
LeRoy Porn Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: It's a dry heat Posts: 13,336	It all starts with a good shit!! __________________ JAPANESE CAMS AND CONTENT SITES Skype - leroy.rowland2

06-05-2015, 08:39 PM	#14
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

06-05-2015, 09:08 PM	#15
Penny24Seven So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 6,287	classic GFY thread. I miss these. Great job haha __________________ Our site is coming soon. It will be one of the best ever! I know so. Brian and Penny

06-05-2015, 10:15 PM	#16
Relentless www.EngineFood.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 5,697	Brilliant __________________ Website Secure \| Engine Food ICQ# 266-942-896

06-05-2015, 10:27 PM	#17
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,928	Everybody needs to start out after a good shit __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*