Funny member emails

[Nubiles]

Forgive me for using this e-mail address but I cannot find another way to contact one of the Nubiles.net models, a lady called Kortny to be exact - please inform her that she should be extremely careful with the mole that's near her vagina. Earlier today I've seen a scene where she's touching herself quite vigourously and from what I know birthmarks can become cancerous if rubbed or teased. Please tell her to keep her fingers away from that particular spot and maybe even consult a dermatologist.

Best wishes.

[Sly]

Literally laughed out loud.

[CaptainHowdy]

...

[nico-t]

cancer porn - new niche?

[Zuzana Designs]

LOLZ

[NatalieK]

it's amazing how many people either (and you have to give this person this) care about others or are literally needing to be involved when they see something someone thinks they know about...

of course, i'd rather fans like this guy than hate mail

[TheDynasty]

Awesome emails!

[The Porn Nerd]

Actually, compared to some of the whackadoodle emails I get from MY Members, that one is almost reasonable. LOL

[yuu.design]

hahahaha, there is good people in the world

[SBJ]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Actually, compared to some of the whackadoodle emails I get from MY Members, that one is almost reasonable. LOL

Yup my all time fav email was over a decade ago when I worked at Latin Teen Cash and a guy sent me or someone there this long email about how the govt or someone replaced selena spice with a fake one as some sort of govt conspiracy. The email was really long and detailed but I've drank A LOT of alcohol over the years and forgot a lot..

but funny email for sure!

[ContentPimp]

A legit concerned citizen right there!

[Struggle4Bucks]

owh... I got a nice one too from:

Paul sent a message using the contact form at boundmenwanked

[website feedback] Worthless whores

How anyone could get aroused at the pieces of shit that are the cheap, literally cocksucking scum on here is beyond me. His new Master? That's a Male term (real men as well, not the limp dick queers on here)for those of us in control. Now if these putrid, rancid filth bags on here were on sites where they were bound, then they MIGHT almost be fuckable. Not letting the fairy se it's face? Who would want to? The shit sluts on here have all the sexuality and eroticism of a blow up doll (not to mention the brains of one). Hope they all get cancer.
---------------
As customer service is important I always reply them of course:

Hello British turd,

Why don't you go suck a cock and get aids! Since you don't like the site, i simply blocked your ip adress so you don't have to look at i again.

Take my advice as you sound a little agitated: Go see a schrink. You sound very unhappy.... i guess you can't seem to find yourself your own whore...

which is completely understandable, because who wants to be around a vinegar-pisser all day.

So Paul.. have a terrible day and please do the rest of the world a favor and simpy die... Simply fuck off and die ..|..

[Spieglergirls]

How about this email:

At Spieglergirls we get a lot of weird e-mails. But this one takes the cake:
SUBJECT: Female Cannibal Feast

Dear Event Coordinator:

If you desire the unique revenue producing venture, I wish to voluntarily donate myself as the Kalua Longpig for the main entree at the women's Barbeque/Luau or the Turkey at the Thanksgiving Dinner.

I have had this fetish for many years and it may be a fantasy money making video for the Internet or reality. I will sign all legal documents so you know I am aware of what I am getting myself into.

I have attached my picture and will tell you where to find the script on Google. My picture serves 2 purposes - 1. Your guests will know who the evening's "piece de resistance" looks like on the platter for this ultimate gastronomic feast. The spellbound attendees who brought cameras may take pictures to remember this fantastic event before the climactic moment proceeds with the carving ritual and 2. If you do not want to fulfill my fetish, I wish to be the slave to femdoms in your video. My interests are FACESITTING, FEET WORSHIPING, AND SERVING AS THE FULL SERVICE TOILET for the women to empty their bladders and rectums into my awaiting mouth.

I haved performed this scenario with 25 femdoms. Every woman said this is the most unique roleplaying she has ever participated in. I am prepared as the Dinner Guest Of Honor. After I am fatten up, inspected, and shaved, I am basted with my own juices, oil, and spices. I am roasted alive on the rotisserie/in the imu or alive in the oven. This procedure is located near the banquet area so when the guests arrive they will smell the delicious aroma to stimulate their appetites. The carving crew places me onto the sterling silver carving platter and my golden brown skin, cooked to perfection, is garnished with a honey/pineapple glaze and decorated with fruits. No succulent longpig is complete unless the traditional red apple is stuffed in its mouth. The platter is placed onto the cart and the plump entree is wheeled into the banquet area. The guests were handed slips of paper with my body diagram on it divided into dark and light meat. They gave the slips to their waitresses and were brought to the platformed table where the carvers received them. After given my Last Rites for making the ultimate sacrifice for the dining pleasure of the ravenous guests, the carving cermony would commence where I would be carved to order by the hostess and/or hostesses.

I am meat so cooking is only a formality. This is really the best destiny I may hope for since I will be appreciated by some of the most discerning palates in the country. I may be fattened up to 240-250 pounds so there will be plenty of meat to go around so everyone gets their choice cut. If there are any leftovers, I will be placed in doggy bags for the guests to take home. It is a privilege to be consumed by your 200 companions and if you sell dinner tickets at $100 each, that is $20,000. My penis and testicles will be auctioned off for dessert. This is an enormous amount of revenue for the evening affair.

I melt when I see bikini clad women in high heels and wish to spend eternity in their warm bellies. The sexiest part of the woman's anatomy is her navel.

My characteristics are 100% healthy, 185 pounds, 5'10", blond hair, blue eyes, never married, no children, no drugs, non-drinker, and non-smoker. I received a football scholarship to Michigan State University and earned the Master of Business Administration. My career is as a librarian.

I do not think of this as the end of my life but the completion of it. It is an honor to serve womankind and to promote female supremacy. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to the favorable reply.

Sincerely,
Hxxxx Sxxxxxxx
xxxxx Valerio Street
North Hollywood, California 91605
Home: (818) xxx-xxxx

Here's the guy's picture:

[Klen]

Originally Posted by Nubiles

Forgive me for using this e-mail address but I cannot find another way to contact one of the Nubiles.net models, a lady called Kortny to be exact - please inform her that she should be extremely careful with the mole that's near her vagina. Earlier today I've seen a scene where she's touching herself quite vigourously and from what I know birthmarks can become cancerous if rubbed or teased. Please tell her to keep her fingers away from that particular spot and maybe even consult a dermatologist.

Best wishes.

That remind me to dr.house episode where Taub wanted to examine mole on stipper.

[Adnium_Ivana]

That was nice. He must be Canadian 🇨🇦 😀 🍁

[shimmy2]

you guys are a trip
porn producers are loved
never hated stalked assaulted imprisoned entrapped etc
its all in your head
get over it

[Daniel Piers]

I really think that's cute

[j3rkules]

Originally Posted by Nubiles

Forgive me for using this e-mail address but I cannot find another way to contact one of the Nubiles.net models, a lady called Kortny to be exact - please inform her that she should be extremely careful with the mole that's near her vagina. Earlier today I've seen a scene where she's touching herself quite vigourously and from what I know birthmarks can become cancerous if rubbed or teased. Please tell her to keep her fingers away from that particular spot and maybe even consult a dermatologist.

Best wishes.

LMAO...

[_Richard_]

Originally Posted by Spieglergirls

How about this email:

At Spieglergirls we get a lot of weird e-mails. But this one takes the cake:
SUBJECT: Female Cannibal Feast

Dear Event Coordinator:

If you desire the unique revenue producing venture, I wish to voluntarily donate myself as the Kalua Longpig for the main entree at the women's Barbeque/Luau or the Turkey at the Thanksgiving Dinner.

I have had this fetish for many years and it may be a fantasy money making video for the Internet or reality. I will sign all legal documents so you know I am aware of what I am getting myself into.

I have attached my picture and will tell you where to find the script on Google. My picture serves 2 purposes - 1. Your guests will know who the evening's "piece de resistance" looks like on the platter for this ultimate gastronomic feast. The spellbound attendees who brought cameras may take pictures to remember this fantastic event before the climactic moment proceeds with the carving ritual and 2. If you do not want to fulfill my fetish, I wish to be the slave to femdoms in your video. My interests are FACESITTING, FEET WORSHIPING, AND SERVING AS THE FULL SERVICE TOILET for the women to empty their bladders and rectums into my awaiting mouth.

I haved performed this scenario with 25 femdoms. Every woman said this is the most unique roleplaying she has ever participated in. I am prepared as the Dinner Guest Of Honor. After I am fatten up, inspected, and shaved, I am basted with my own juices, oil, and spices. I am roasted alive on the rotisserie/in the imu or alive in the oven. This procedure is located near the banquet area so when the guests arrive they will smell the delicious aroma to stimulate their appetites. The carving crew places me onto the sterling silver carving platter and my golden brown skin, cooked to perfection, is garnished with a honey/pineapple glaze and decorated with fruits. No succulent longpig is complete unless the traditional red apple is stuffed in its mouth. The platter is placed onto the cart and the plump entree is wheeled into the banquet area. The guests were handed slips of paper with my body diagram on it divided into dark and light meat. They gave the slips to their waitresses and were brought to the platformed table where the carvers received them. After given my Last Rites for making the ultimate sacrifice for the dining pleasure of the ravenous guests, the carving cermony would commence where I would be carved to order by the hostess and/or hostesses.

I am meat so cooking is only a formality. This is really the best destiny I may hope for since I will be appreciated by some of the most discerning palates in the country. I may be fattened up to 240-250 pounds so there will be plenty of meat to go around so everyone gets their choice cut. If there are any leftovers, I will be placed in doggy bags for the guests to take home. It is a privilege to be consumed by your 200 companions and if you sell dinner tickets at $100 each, that is $20,000. My penis and testicles will be auctioned off for dessert. This is an enormous amount of revenue for the evening affair.

I melt when I see bikini clad women in high heels and wish to spend eternity in their warm bellies. The sexiest part of the woman's anatomy is her navel.

My characteristics are 100% healthy, 185 pounds, 5'10", blond hair, blue eyes, never married, no children, no drugs, non-drinker, and non-smoker. I received a football scholarship to Michigan State University and earned the Master of Business Administration. My career is as a librarian.

I do not think of this as the end of my life but the completion of it. It is an honor to serve womankind and to promote female supremacy. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to the favorable reply.

Sincerely,
Hxxxx Sxxxxxxx
xxxxx Valerio Street
North Hollywood, California 91605
Home: (818) xxx-xxxx

Here's the guy's picture:

that's a whole lotta wow.