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#1 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: In my head
Posts: 6,844
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Surgeon General: Drinking every time Trump lies during debate will result in acute alcohol poisoning
Viewers of tonight?s debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump who decide to drink every time Trump tells a lie could very well die of alcohol poisoning, according to the US Surgeon General.
After the series of ?clown car debates? of 2012, an average of 70,000 additional alcohol poisoning related incidents occurred. Due to the frequently untrue nature of Trump?s comments, first responders are bracing for a potentially more disastrous incident tonight. According to Politico, Trump lied every three minutes and 15 seconds throughout a five day period from Sept. 15 ? Sept 20. Medical professionals found themselves in a similar situation last year, before the GOP primary debates. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said ?We are anticipating record levels of alcohol poisoning? all across the country, as Americans engage in drinking games while they watch the debate. We can?t impress enough on people about the danger of mixing alcohol and watching the GOP debates, especially with the field the Republicans are giving us this year.? Given the candidate they ultimately chose, the potential for fabrications tonight are higher than ever. The Mayo Clinic reports that signs of alcohol poisoning include vomiting, confusion, seizures, slow breathing (seven breaths a minute or less), blue-tinged or pale skin, hypothermia, and not being able to be woken up after falling asleep. Please do your fact-checking as responsibly as possible. |
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#2 |
Fake Nick 1.0
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Rent free, your head
Posts: 27,652
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I'm pretty sure lots of viewers will be drunk with laughter when Hilary collapses on stage and her personal first responders will be busy propping her up and holding her eyes open to make it appear she's still all there.
Did you hear they denied her request for a stool? They claimed it was so she could stand on it so they made her a custom podium base to stand on. She's probably going to regret that request.. Not only does she now have to stand for 90 minutes straight she has to do it on an elevated platform. |
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#3 | |
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Montana
Posts: 46,238
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#4 |
Confirmed Chicago Pimp
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 7,100
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Drinking every time Hillary Hag Bitch coughs will lead to a quicker death.
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#5 | |
So Fucking Fabulous
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11,375
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#6 |
Confirmed Chicago Pimp
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 7,100
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alcohol, poisoning, trump, surgeon, debate, tonight, drinking, sept, time, gop, debates, mixing, watching, giving, candidate, ultimately, year.?, field, republicans, danger, impress, americans, engage, country, poisoning? |